@ my attic room, behind my pc
♫ Angra - Carry On (from the Angels Cry album)
☼ I'd wish...
Hello everyone!
I wanted to tank everyone again for sending me those sweet comments! *hugs!*
I was supposed to get up in about 15 minutes from now, but I couldn't sleep anymore. So I got up, got some clothes and went upstairs. I played some Mafia Wars (it's so freaking addictive!) and opened up a folder with some newly acquired music. It's playing right now: Angra.
I'm a bit concerned though and I guess that's what gotten me awake earlier than I planned. The birthdays of Joyce's twin sisters are coming up. Withing 48 hours, she's gotten 3 different dates and that's quite confusing...to say the least. I know she wants to go because it are still her sisters. But I am a bit scared that she comes back feeling f*cked up again. Funny how ones family can make you feel like that so easily. I keep telling her she is better than they ever gave her credit for. But the silly thing is. All the times she's been lied to by her family, all the times they kicked her in the back...and still I do believe that when they would tell her that she's no good...she'll believe that sooner than me saying she's totally OK. Even though she knows I have never lied to her, never used her in any way... Still her family has such a grab on her. And just when she's doing a bit better here, getting more self esteem and self confidence, she has to go to that hellhole again. I know I am not welcome, nor would I want to be. All the lies that were told about me, the way I got used and them thrown out in the mud... I just hate (and I mean really hate) people who can treat others like that, only for their own benefit. I know I can't forbid Joyce to go, I know that here sisters aren't the baddest ones that are around that hellhole... But the Devil lives there too and I just hope that Joyce will not give in this time. Will be able to close up for all the nonsense that comes out and will be able to keep believing in herself. Knowing what I have told her, what others have told her... It's just hard. And I guess I make a way too big fuzz about it. But I know what happened the last time she had to go there... She was really down for almost a whole week. And that both saddens me but also makes me insane with fury. How can the person you are supposed to trust the most treat you like this without any feeling of guilt or wrong doing? How can the Devil not see that it ain't right? Ah well, as we all know, the Devil only tries to get things dong to suit it best. Why take other feelings in consideration when you just have to pull some strings to get what you want anyway?
OK I guess I have to stop rambling about this now. I know she can go there... I know it can be important just to show up. But I also can be quite honest when I say that I would not lose any sleep if she'd decide not to go. Why would I lie about that? Most people who read my humble blog know how I've been treated and lied about behind my back. So hopefully they'll all understand why I have these strong feelings about this all.
Ah well, I'd better get dressed now so I can be in time for my shopping-date with my mum.
TTFN everyone! I will be back for sure!
xxx Cynni
Posts
Galactus
1 year ago
5 comments:
Poor Jojo. I had no idea things were like that with her family. It's so sad that they can;t see what a wonderful person she is, and that you are too.
It must be really hard for you as well, wanting to protect her but knowing its not always possible. At the end of the day she has to make the decision to see them or not for herself. All you can do is support her, and be there for her whatever the outcome. I wish i could give some advice to help you both.
If she does decid eto go all i can suggest is a) you send her texts every five minutes telling her how fab she is to keep her spirits up and b)You could makes a list of every single person who TRULY cares about her (you'll be a much better judge of who that is than she will be if her confidence is low) and then everytime one of her family says something to put her down tell her to say the names in her head. Hopefully it will help a little.
Hey sweetie!
I think it is a difficult situation. You don't want to stop her from going (which is good) but on the other hand it must be so hard to see her hurt again when she comes back from visiting them.
Gin suggestion sounds good I have to say. Not sure though that if she is there and they aren't nice to her..if she is able to say such a list in her head..as how I read what Cynni wrote..it seems to be quite bad when they thread her that way..so I am not sure if she would be able to think about positive things like that at that moment. But well that you would only know if you try it out of course.
I can understand she wants to see her sisters and all. And I can understand it is hard to let her go and visit them because you know she will probably get hurt and feel f*cked up again. But unless she says she doesn't want to go anymore there isn't much you can do about it I guess. I think it is better to leave it up to her untill she gets to the point hopefully that she realizes visiting them harms her more than it does her good..then it will be her desicion and then I might be easier for her to cope with (well you know instead of persuading her not to go and then later maybe regretting you didn't leave it up to her and she feels she couldn't get closure at the end).
Of course I am only thinking about options and all and I know you aren't forcing her in any way..and I can't really give advice on it..but I know it has to be difficult.
I hope it works out and maybe she won't feel hurt after visiting them..that they finally came to their senses and respect her for who she is (a wonderful, sweet and caring person)...but I know that chance is small. But there nothing wrong with hoping right?
I hope you understood all my rambling..sometimes it is difficult to put your thoughts into writing...and then in a different language aswell.
Hope you had a good day shopping with her mum :)
TTFN!
Steph xx
Thanks for your comment. Last time she was with her family, I did text her like every 15 till 30 minutes. Even if just to annoy the Devil (nope, she wears NO Prada. Her sloppy feet wouldn't fit in any Prada anyways though..).
I hope that they will just set an date and that she then can say either yes or no. And not that they keep changing the date (like before) and then letting Joyce plan everything around that date and eventually, 2 days prior to that date, inform her that they did change it again. And when she could not go then, she was selfish because she did not even want to make time for her family... Yeah, well bugger them I'd say!
*sighs* We'll just wait and I'll just see. Hoping it will come out good in the end.
AAARGGGGGGGGHHHHH!
I am sorry sweetie..I meant "I hope you had a good day shopping with YOUR mum"!!
I was still rereading and editing and I misread that. OOPS
Forgive me :P I didn't do it on purpose honest!
Steph xx
Steph, thanks for your dear comment!
And about taking her mum shopping: only for something that would include 6 boards and a nice cross on it... Sorry if it seems harsh, but I really can't see anything positive in that Devil...
I know I can't force her to do anything. But I know that while I am honest about my feelings, she always knows what I stand for and believe in. No matter how positive or negative it might be. I will always be honest...
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