Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Second free day

Hello everyone,

here’s another update from me. Yesterday I had my first free day. Officially I had to work till October 2nd at my ex-job, but since I had many vacation days left, I now have a week off before starting the new job. I still have to contact the new job to make some arrangements. But I am planning to do that near the end of this week. First I want to relax and let it all sink in a bit.

I am currently uploading some pictures to my FaceBook account. All convention related ones. Don’t know why I haven’t done that earlier…

And something a friend mentioned on our OMWF&friends board made me think last night. She asked if the reader of that post (it was in a game section) was missing his/her friends. When I gave my answer, it was no. And she reacted that she did miss her friends and could not understand why I did not miss mine. I already answered that question and thought about it some more. I don’t have to miss my friends because I know how to contact them in many ways. I can send a  text message, chat, e-mail, make a phone call or arranging a meeting… So there’s no need to miss them in any way. Sure, some times it can be easier to talk to a friend face to face. But when your friends live all over the country (and some even all over the world) you just have to accept that it can’t always be easily done. And my friends know how they can reach me, should they need me. So when I thought about it some more, I realized that I really don’t miss my friends because I’m always connected to them in as many ways as possible.

Ah well…

Dentist appointment in the afternoon. They'll hopefully fix my splint behind my teeth. And I am also hopeful that it will help to stop the tooth aches I’ve been having ever since last week, Monday.

Well, I’m off now to tag some picca’s @ my FaceBook. Check the link on my blog to find me there if you’re interested.

TTFN, Cynni xxx

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Two more days

Hello everyone,

Here another update, made with my mobile phone, from the couch...
Today I spent at home, seeing I slept badly due to my tooth and jaw aches. I could not lay as I liked to and my head kept hurting. Ever since Monday evening I have a bad headache. I guess it's due to all the "stress" my head/jaw/teeth endured that day.
So Joyce called me in sick today. I could lay in bed a while longer which was quite comforting.
I took it easy today and in the afternoon I called my boss. I explained what had happened and he had to laugh about it. Of course this is something that could only happen to me so I understood his laughter. But I was disappointed that it had to happen to me... Stupid splint... And I gotta be back on Monday at 14.
But my boss also told me that I will only have to work two more days. Tomorrow and Friday will be my last day at the Super. So instead of 7 working days I only have 2 left. And then I have a week off. Which is very nice, so I can make some arangements with my new employer and just take it easy. Let it all sink in.

Ah well... Will watch some more DVD (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, season 7) and take it easy...some more *winks*.

I am looking forward to the upcoming weekend *big grin*.

TTFN everyone, I'll be back!
Cynni xx

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Ouch!

Hello boys 'n girls!

Here I am again with a mobile blog. I am all alone, excluding two sweet doggies, watching a DVD (Criminal Minds, season 2) on the couch.
Today I had a day off from work. Yesterday I had a dentist appointment which went a bit different from what I hoped and/or expected. The check-up took 1,5 hours and that was already a long time. Then they were going to fix my splint. I have one that I can use during the nights so I won't grind my teeth while sleeping. But I could shoot it off using my tongue and that's what kept happening during the night. I did not use it every night but it was nice to have it when needed. So since it was a bit too wide, it needed some fixing. The professor used some liqued wax and in the end, it became too hard and got stuck on my teeth and other splint. Since I have had braces in my mouth, I have two splints keeping my teeth secure in their place. So the external splint got stuck and wouldn't move... In the end they had to cut it in several pieces to get it off. I had plastic curls in my mouth from the cutting and it hurt my jaw and teeth. After half an hour, it was finally off. Now I feel like someone wacked me right into my face, hitting my lower teeth right on. It really hurts and now I have to get back next Monday so they can fix my splints, both of them.

Due to all that plastic I had to throw up during the evening. It also hurt when all those bits came up, caught in slime and dinner. When I wanted to get back into bed, my space had partly been taken. I was feeling hot and sick and just grabbed my pillow and went up to the attic. There I cleaned up the old sleeping couch, posted some on Facebook and played the "7 wonders" game on my PS2. After finishing level one I tried to get some sleep. I was still aggrivated and pissed at everone and myself.

I am mad about some things that may seem simple. But for me, they aren't. I do take some things too hard on myself at times, I know that. But it isn't easy for me to describe it, even if I wanted to. But I am very busy, really occupied, and I just can't seem to find some time for myself. And when ever I am home alone, like I am now, it's just too hard to use that time in the way I should.
I know I'm babbling or it seems like I'm babbling. But seeing it's my blog, I'd say I'm allowed to babble here...

Today I argued with Joyce about some stuff that had been and is still bothering me. Then we cooled off and went to my mum. Checked her laptop and then went out to buy their b-day prezzie for George. I finally knew something he'd wanted and did not buy it himself (yet). So now we have to keep him from buying it until his party. And we got Kim some prezzies, seeing she just had her b-day. I also worked on George's company website, adding some info about his new project.

I ate alone this evening, walked the doggies and fed them. I know the dishwasher needs to be emptied but I really don't feel like it. I feel tired and hurt and alone... It'll pass and fade but at this moment, it just sucks...

Ah well, will watch the DVD and maybe clean out the dishwasher ;-)

TTFN, Cyn xx

Disturbed - Stricken

AH! AH! AH! OW!
You walk on like a woman in suffering
Won't even bother now to tell me why
You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
Leaving me broken another time
You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
Leave me alone, let me be this time
You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know
That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run

AH AH AH OW
You don’t know what your power has done to me
I wanna know if I'll heal inside
I cant go on with a holocaust about to happen
Seeing you laughing another time
You'll never know how your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses
Leaving me breathless the reason I know
That I am stricken and cant let you go
When the heart is cold there’s no hope and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will i run
Into the abyss will i run!
Oooooh!!!!

You walk on like a woman in suffering
Wont even bother now to tell me why
You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
Leaving me broken another time
You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
Leave me alone let me be this time
You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
Don’t wanna mention the reason I know
That I am stricken and cant let you go
When the heart is cold there’s no hope and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will i run
Into the abyss will i run!
I cant let you go!
Yes I am stricken and cant let you go!


Monday, September 07, 2009

4 more weeks

Hello everyone!

As you all know, I gave my boss my 4 weeks notice last Friday. And today we had a short but definitive talk about it. All is getting settled and I will have my last working day at the Super on October 2nd. On October 5th I will start my internship at the Jan Linders in Boxmeer. I am very excited about it all, though I have to admit it’s a bit scary as well. Seeing they put so much confidence in me and I never ever did something like I will be doing now before. Though I only know the job from what I read about it, it seems like a big responsibility. Which is good seeing I love to do the things I do with great accuracy and pride. So being responsible for stuff is something which gives me some extra will power to do what I know I can. Maybe it sounds silly or strange, but that is who I am.

The job I am doing now, I know that I can do it and very well indeed, if I might add that. But knowing I can do it doesn’t provide me with any “pride” anymore. There is no challenge in succeeding because I can do it with my eyes closed and also when my hands are tied. It was all very exciting when I started but after a while I need something new to set my teeth in. I don’t want a job in which I can predict now what I will be doing in 5 weeks time. I know there are certain things that always need to be done. But some things are fun when they are not so predictable. And the stuff I was doing once gave me a good feeling over myself. But I got only compliments of my customers, not that much from my boss. And that made me wonder… Should I stay because of them of because I want to? And when this new job offer came by (thanks to Joyce for finding it), I just went out and gave it a try. I did not even have to try hard, but just be who I am and that was more than enough for them to hire me…

I do have many mixed feelings still. Happy for my new job, sad for losing some dear colleagues and close customers, a bit scared for the new job as well. I know I am a fast learner, but still it’s a bit scary to know that I will be getting such a big responsibility! It’s like I am going from 10% to 250% within one breath of air. Hope that makes any sense…

Well, I am now waiting for my contract to be send out so I can sign it. And hopefully the last 4 weeks on the job at the Super will go OK. I want to leave my “old” work in a decent and good feeling way.

To all my friend colleagues and close customers: I WILL MISS YOU!!! Please check my blog and leave me a message… I would love to keep in touch with many of you :)

That’s all for tonight. Much love and hugs,
Cynni xxx

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Confused...

I am confused... Quite confused...

As I have written here at the end of last week, I have my boss my 4 weeks (I believe it's 4 weeks) notice. I told him I was offered a new job and after much thinking and discussing it with friends and loved ones I accepted it. He was quite stunned, not that he showed it... But he only told me that he'd think about it and would come back to me about it. Since I told him that I wanted to quit just after noon, it was really a long wait when he only told me around 16:45 that he "rather not" have me quit and we'd talk about it on Monday. I was so stunned because I told him I was quitting and I accepted a new job already.

So WHY a need to think about it? Will he make me an "offer I can't refuse" now that I have told him I want out...? It's a bit too late for that I would think. So many things that have happened that counted up to me wanting to find another job. I never really felt appreciated there. I have been working till 9 days before I was scheduled to get my new hip. Yeah I worked shorter days, but I was there the best I could manage and doing my job. I was taking quite heavy medication and I was told that in that time I did not work hard enough... That I was too slow and all. And I also was told that I was a big cost to the company. Further more other (newer) collegues were offered better positions and some educational things... All things I longd for, told him that I wanted more and had the feeling I could mean more to the company. But it was always noted and never dealt with.

And now I got through 2 interviews and a test and passed them almost with glory and I accepted the job... And now he wants time to think. I guess in one way I would feel a bit honored if he offered me something in tomorrow's talk. But also offended that during the 8 years and 2 months, he dd not do anything and it could only happen because I want a new job.

So I am confused, sad and angry at the same time.
WHY am I bing told my work ain't good/fast enough and I cost too much?
WHY didn't I ever receive a promotion or something educational, which others may receive?
WHY can't he just accept that the way things are going now, I am not happy there anymore?

And last of all:
Why am I feeling almost guilty when all I am doing is thinking of my future and my best interest?

I have been sleeping very little ever since I knew they had offered me the position. I have nice co-workers, some very dear customers who surely mean a lot to me... But I don't feel appreciated and just taken for granted at times by my boss and his brother just hates me. So if I am that slow, expensive and not important enough to be offered an sort of promotion in all those years...WHY say that he'd rather not have me quitting and needing time to think about it??? Why not tell me when I have my last working day and how we will work out my standing vacation time and days and all???

*sighs*

So instead of having one stupid day, last Friday, in which I told him and then we could deal with it all...I have to wait till tomorrow and hopefully he will have it all sorted out by then.
Will write my notice tomorrow evening and hand it over to him on Tuesday. After many tears and talks and doubts I have made up my mind. I want that new job.. Not the old one with slight improvements after such a long time... IF he had offered ANYTHING previous to me working on getting a new job, I might not have gone for it. But now... It's too late...

And I will try to get some sleep... Hopefully... And hopefully tomorrow everything will be sorted out... In a nice and decent way, I also hope...

*sighs*

Sleep well my dear readers!

PS. Due to all the stress of the stuff mentioned above I had no time or energy to work on my story... Hopefully I'll be able to work on it asap.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Awake way too early…

Hello everyone,

this is an early morning blogpost. Normally, my alarm allows me to sleep till 6:20 am. But I have been awake a big part of the night and when my tummy needed a toilet brake around 5:50, I decided to get up. I am feeling quite nervous, anxious and maybe a bit scared. I know it is a normal conversation to have and it’s a risk you carry when having a company, that people may one day quit. but I am not sure if he saw this coming and in a way, I’m afraid I will hurt his feelings. I think that is what my feelings are truly about and why I am sleeping to lousy. I am afraid to disappoint my boss. Getting the feeling that I am letting him down. While it’s actually him that let me down by giving others the means of exploring themselves by giving them more responsibilities. By not allowing me some more access and involvement in daily things that are happening in the store.

So see, it wasn’t all totally useless that I have been laying awake for such a long time. I finally figured myself and my feelings out. I am scared that I will disappoint him instead of being able to be happy for myself for starting a new and more responsible job soon. Maybe I’m a bit scared too that the new job might be too much to handle for me. But I also know that I’ve got a lot of potential that isn’t being “taken advantage of” at my current position.

It’s just such a double feeling, as we say in the Netherlands. It’s like I have this big, old fashioned two-way scale in front of me and even though I have made my decision about taking the new job, I am still measuring all the odds and evens. I guess that is my insecure part deep inside of me, that’s taking over.

Ah well, I will go get dressed and feed the dogs. And be nervous… I keep telling myself that it’ll be OK. But I guess I won’t be able to believe that for myself until the day is over…

*sighs*

Cynni

Thursday, September 03, 2009

To think that you think that… Chapter 3

the story continues… please feel free to comment, pa-leeze comment!!!
looking forward to your impressions and all…

THREE

Sandra woke up around 6 am. She slept only a few hours and it had not been very restful. But she saw it differently. She rushed to the toilet first, bat in hand, and then she rushed over to her laptop. She switched it on, waited for the software to load and typed in her password. She thought she heard some noise from her bedroom. So she grabbed the bat again and slowly walked towards the bedroom door. When she silently opened it, she thought she was losing her mind!
The window was open again, just slightly ajar, but open!
She could have sworn that she had locked and bolted it. How could anyone be able to open it up again without her noticing? How was this possible? And there it was again. That one answer that did not seem to be a real answer at all.

Magic? Magic!? There’s no such thing as magic… Is there? Is there!?

That might be the only thing that could start to explain whatever she thought she saw the previous night. And how anyone would have been able to open three locks without leaving a scratch. And also, how her window could have been opened without her noticing. She had been thinking about this all a lot during the night and she had not been able to make up any answer. There simply seemed to be no answer, not a believable one for all that counts, to the answers of how, who, why and what. What was going on here? Were the things she thought she saw and the things happening at her house connected in any way?

The thoughts came so fast that she rushed herself towards her laptop and started typing again. First, she opened a new document. To keep thoughts of yesterday and last night separated from the thoughts of this morning. Later she could cross refer them to see if some thoughts had come up more often than others. That way, she knew they had to be the most important ones that needed to be answered before they made her head go POP!

Instead of writing down more thoughts, she opened her Firefox web browser and went to the Google search site. Before proceeding any further, Sandra checked her firewall and LAN protection settings. She did not want anyone to be able to hack her and see what she was about to Google. It sounded a bit far stretched and ridiculous, even for Sandra herself, to be checking the settings. She had done so quite often, but she got the feeling, now more than ever, that someone or maybe something, was watching her. And the thing she was about to Google was also very un-Sandra. So she checked and double checked it before typing in her desired search words. But while she was rechecking, she also thought that it would not be worth a thing. She always checked her locks, also often double checked it, and they seemed to open on their own account as well when she wasn’t looking.

Still, she was going to Google it and if not now, she would never come around to do it. She typed “magic lock opening” and pressed the search button.

She found several sites that were trying to sell her special locks. Even a site where she could order lock picks in various special “key” sets. But nothing that had anything to do with real magic. As far as magic could be seen as real to anyone.

There had to be someone out there who believed enough in the magical forces that would be able to help her. To maybe answer a few questions from her impeccable long and almost unbelievable list.

So she turned back to the Google search engine for yet another search. But then she got a silly idea in her head. She switched to the Yellow Pages website and decided to try her luck there. She finally found a website that offered her some more information. Without thinking, she picked up her phone and started dialing the number that was blinking on her screen. On the third ring there came an answer. She made an appointment for the next day, Sunday afternoon. She did not want to meet the person in her apartment, so they agreed they would meet up at a local Starbucks restaurant.

After setting the date and time of the appointment in her cell phone, she went back to her thoughts file. It felt like it was only growing with many questions that would never be answered. How she hated that! She was desperate for some answers. Just a few to begin with. It would be a start. The start of something good or bad, she wasn’t quite sure about that yet. But nevertheless, it was a start of something…

She sat staring at her laptop screen for a few minutes, not even noticing that her thoughts wandered off to places she’d never been within her imagination. Normally Sandra was very much in touch with her thoughts. She was always carrying around her cell phone. Not to keep in touch with all the close friends she did not have. But this way, she always had a device with her to write down all the thoughts and sometimes ideas that would pop into her mind. And because she always could digitally write down everything she wanted, everything that had come to mind, she knew better than anyone what her usual train of thoughts was. And the last 24 hours, it really had been very off. It was like she was not herself anymore.

Normally she would at least find a couple of believable and acceptable answers to some of the questions on her display or screen. But now, she was lost at sea, trying to find a small drop of water. Looking for a needle in a haystack would be easier than finding any answers to the questions she had written down since her walk home last night. Sandra was really hoping that her appointment on Sunday would make her wiser. She would be happy if she could go home after it with one answer on her questions. She would be extremely happy with two answers. And three answers or more would blow her mind! But she did not want to get ahead of things. And with that thought, she came back to what she was doing before she started to stare at her screen.

She typed up some more things, some things she wanted to ask her appointment the next day and some more thoughts, before she encrypted the file and shut down her laptop. She did not want to go out, but inside she wasn’t sure she felt safe there either. The locks were opened after she closed them, again and again. And she still wasn’t sure if she was being followed the previous night or not. But she gathered all her strength and courage and got ready to leave the apartment. She had to get some groceries, whether she liked to get them or not. She was running out of food and drinks, and she did not want to dine out again before she found out more about what was happening to her. While Sandra was getting her groceries bag and her purse, she was doubting of locking her front door and windows would have any use. But since she had this neurotic habit, she had to do it. She could not leave the apartment knowing that the doors and windows weren’t locked. She knew there was someone, or rather something¸ that was able to open up anything anywhere if he, she or it pleased. But still, seeing not everyone was capable of doing such a thing, so it did feel safer to hold on to her habit of locking it all up.

After checking the locks once, twice and again she was sure she could leave the apartment safely to do her shopping. She almost wanted to bring along her baseball bat but she figured that was not going to be allowed when visiting stores. They would rather think that she was about to rob them instead of thinking it served as protection only. Protection against what? That, she did not know. Or know yet, she secretly hoped.

Since she did not own a car, it was too expensive for the use it would have and she preferred to do everything she could on foot. She loved to walk. Gave her the time she could use to clear her mind, or try to in a way, and it also gave her a daily dose of fresh air. As fresh as air could be in the city she lived in. But her work was close enough to work, as were the stores she used on a frequent base. She did own a bike, which was stalled in the basement of her apartment. She used it maybe once or twice a month. She also liked to ride it, seeing it gave her the exercise and fresh air which she loved. But driving a bike was a bit more dangerous than walking on the high curbs. Many drivers thought they were competing in the Indiana 500 when they would hurry to whatever place they had as destination. She almost got hit by a car the last time she was on the road. Her bike got hurt, she did not, luckily. The car hit her front wheel. Not hard, but hard enough for the wheel to have a huge dent and Sandra’s temper to raise. Fortunately, the driver was not a rude businessman with a huge hurry but a nice man who paid for a new wheel and even offered to ride her home. Since she was close to home, she declined the offer, gladly took the money and walked home afterwards.

It was three blocks to her local Delhaize store. She had a long list of stuff she needed to buy. Of course, this list was saved on her cell phone. She kept checking if anyone was following her but she felt like that was not the case. She was just glad that she did not have to go past the place where she saw it happen last night. Yes, yes, or she thought she had seen something happen. That idea and thought was still nagging in her mind.

She felt almost 100% sure that she wasn’t followed when she entered the store. She got a shopping kart and grabbed her cell phone. When she flipped it open, she saw that she had an incoming file being transferred in through her Bluetooth connection. That was weird! She didn’t have that connection open and if and when she used it, she always used an eight numbered code to protect the file transfer. She saw that the senders phone, or maybe PC, had no ID. No name, no number, nothing that could tell her who the mysterious sender was. She decided to let the transfer finish and she would check the file that was transferred when she got home again. That way she could check the file for any virus or Trojan horse or any other hacking and cracking device that could be embedded in the file she just received. When her phone told her the file was well received, she saw that the connection was disconnected and her Bluetooth immediately switched itself off. Sandra was now in doubt whether to switch of the phone or leave it on. She left it on, not giving the new file a chance to do anything weird with her phone while was booting. But she did put it away and just got her groceries from the top of her mind. Not using the applications was the safest options she could think of.

She believed the kart was full enough when she proceeded to check out. While she was waiting in the line, someone she knew came walking up to her. Or, as it turned out to be, walked up to stand behind her in line. The lady did not notice she was standing behind Sandra until Sandra had enough courage to turn around and say hello.

“Hello Lilly, how are you doing?”. Yes, it was Lilly from work, the woman she thought she might have feelings for. Lilly looked up, surprised at first, before responding to Sandra. “I’m doing quite OK Sandra. I did not know you did your shopping here.” “I’ve been coming here for almost two years, it’s only a three block’s walk from my apartment.” Lilly gave Sandra a puzzled look. “We’ve been working together for almost that same amount of time and you never told me you live so close to me?”

Sandra felt a blush coming up and couldn’t think of a fast answer. Not one she felt comfortable with anyway. But before she could respond, Lilly interrupted her thoughts.

“The line is moving Sandra. You wouldn’t want to stall it, would you?” Lilly giggled when she said that, and Sandra could feel her temperature rise. She moved forward, just three people in front of her now. She longed for some time with Lilly. It was nice to have someone to talk with and to get her mind of the frequent thoughts she’d been having. Maybe she could invite Lilly for a cup of tea at her place. Or would that be too much and too fast? What the heck! After all the strange things that had been happening she felt she deserved a change. A good change. So when the line moved up once again, Sandra turned around to invite Lilly. But Lilly had gone. She wasn’t standing behind Sandra anymore.

Sandra felt sad that she did not notice Lilly going away. And that she didn’t get the chance to invite her over. She moved up again, paid for her grocery items and she was still busy packing them into her bag when she heard a familiar voice.

Lilly stood beside her. “Sorry that I left like I did. I saw a shorter line and it was a good decision to change. But I should have told you before setting off.” “Oh it’s OK, I was just wondering where you were when I turned around. But, what I wanted to ask you, are you busy this afternoon?” Lilly looked like she was thinking it over before she answered. “Well, besides from getting my groceries home safely, I was planning on sitting on the couch with a good book. Why, got any better plans?” Sandra laughed nervously before finally getting to her point. “Well, if you are interested, I wanted to ask you over to my place for a nice cup of tea. It would be nice to get to know you a bit better.”

There, she had said it. Straight out and forward. Message delivered.

Lilly welcomed the invite. She asked for Sandra’s address, so she could go home first, put away her groceries and fresh up before visiting Sandra. On her way home, Sandra felt like she was flying instead of walking. All the troubles that she had seemed to fade away. Of course, they were still alive and kicking as well. But now, it didn’t seem so bad. Before the evening would be over, the troubles would be back. OK, they had never left but just seemed less present. Sandra didn’t care! Lilly was coming over…

to be continued…

The hardest thing...

Hello everyone,

tomorrow will be the day when I have to go and talk to my boss. I have to tell him that I will be leaving his company after working there for 8 years ans 2 months. I've been offered a new job at another supermarket chain and I have accepted. I have talked a lot about it with friends and family and I do like the place I am working now. But it will get me no where. I am doing the same things I have been doing for over 6 years now and I think I can accomplish just a bit more than that.
On several occasions I have informed my boss about it. But nothing has been done with it.

I love to work with my co-workers. We have fun and we know we can count on each other. I have many good contacts with several customers and I will really, really miss that all. I will miss catching up with everyone, watching kids grow up and doing what I know I can. But I would like to see myself doing just a wee bit more than that when I look at myself in something like 10 years or so. That is why I took the offer. With this supermarket chain I can get more opportunities to grow and develop myself, sort to speak.

But it still freaks me out knowing I have to deliver my boss this news tomorrow. I feel like I am going to do something really, really bad. But all I am doing is choosing for myself and to start a new career. I know I am an @$$ complaining that I got offered a more advanced job... But I just wish I had gotten this chance at my present company. So I would not have to say goodbye to all of my co-workers and friends. It truly makes me sad to think about having to miss them all... And it freaks me out knowing I will be the newby at my new job. Doing something I have never done before and really hoping I will be able to do it all. Though it really feels good knowing that people think me capable of stuff that I have never been allowed to do before at my present job...

So all in all, it is hard in many ways. I hope my boss will understand and be nice/reasonable/good about it. I have not been able to sleep OK in the last week, laying awake thinking about all the scenarios and everything that can go wrong. I even picture me crying...

Ah well... Please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow... I will be back about this topic for sure...

Nervous huggies,
Cynni xx

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Another old poem

Writing your life

Writing is, as writing goes
Just one of many artistic flows
One that almost everyone knows

It isn’t easy, it never is
To give your words some extra bliss
But a feeling is not hard to miss

Everyone feels, I am sure
Painful feelings search for a cure
It’s love we can always endure

Memories lead you, to many ways
You write a journal about your days
It’s nice to find a way through this maze

Words misguide, once in a while
Some chosen poorly, some make you smile
Words always exist even in denial

That makes it hard, writing and all
It leads to high ways or a fall
No matter what, I stand tall

Follow the words, your heart gives in
Dare to cry it isn't a sin
Be brave and just begin…

Following the words that will write your story in the end.

©ynni, November 28th 2008