Monday, August 31, 2009

To think that you think that…

Cynni, the storyteller… continues!

If you liked my first chapter, please read this blog. It contains chapter number:


She always was a loner. For twenty-five years she’d always had so manage on her own. Her mum did the best she could, but she has died when her daughter was just five years old. The father tried to take care of his daughter, but in his own way. He was too bummed after his wife died to to anything besides getting drunk. He lost his wife and he felt like he lost his life instead. That he still had a daughter did not mean that much to him. After almost a year of drinking heavily he found out that life had to go on. But his way of going on, was checking himself out. He bought a shotgun and ended his life in a brutal way.

His daughter had been beaten a lot, every time he felt like it, and she did her best to cover up all the bruises. At age six, she was almost independent. She tried to take care of her dad the best she could, the best any five going on six year old could do. She never really had the time to grieve for her mother and she did not know how to do so. There were no other relatives that she could turn to. And at school the teachers knew that her dad was a drunk, but because she still got good grades, no one ever did anything to help her with her home situation. Until they got a call, informing the head principal that her dad has taken his own life, with her present in the room.

Sandra was taken in by a not too distant relative who cared enough for the troubled child to take her in. It was a great surprise to her, since she could not remember ever meeting this woman. She told Sandra that she was the widow of her dad’s brother. Maybe that was the reason why she felt just a little connection between her and the young girl. They both had lost someone they loved and cared about. Sandra would always call her auntie, never mum. Her aunt did not mind it and did her best to give Sandra some love and a lot of care. But due to all the distress that Sandra had experienced throughout her short time on earth, it was hard to connect with the little girl. She tried, they even followed some therapy sessions. These sessions helped a bit, but Sandra would never be truly able to trust anyone.

At the age of nineteen, Sandra also lost her aunt. She was driving home after work and got hit by a drunk truck driver. She died on the way to the hospital. Sandra was quite pleased when she heard that the truck driver would spend some years in jail, but it would and could not soften the grieve she was experiencing. Nineteen years young and already three people she had known and loved died in gruesome ways.

Sandra quit university, she could not concentrate anymore and at the time, it wasn’t interesting to her anymore as well. She found a job, got better at it and she rented an apartment. She was finally getting her life back, or her new life was finally shaping up. Anyway you wanted to see it, things were improving. She built up some trust in some of her co-workers and she got better at what she did. At the age of twenty-three she got a good promotion and was able to buy the apartment she was still living in.
She still did not have many friends, just one or two she thought she could trust enough to call it a friend. But they weren’t close enough for Sandra to talk with them about what she had seen. Or thought she had seen.

Romantic relationships were also very unknown to her. She thought that she did have a crush on someone, maybe she would even call it more if she dared herself to do so, but she could not really place the feelings she had. She loved to be around her, to hear her talk, to see her walk, just to be close to her. But she wasn’t really sure if it was love or a craving for a close friendship. And she also was very unsure about having feelings for a woman. Was she really gay or maybe bi-sexual? There have been one or two men that she thought she had feelings for in the past. But since her feelings were never answered and she never dared to take any risk by making contact with that person herself, she would never know what the feelings meant exactly.

Though all in all, Sandra wasn’t ugly. She had, what most people call, a nice figure and a lovely smile. She had, also what most people call, an average height and weight, so really she wasn’t bad on the eye. But because she wasn’t able to trust people, she was also very shy and withholding. One day, she promised herself, she would find out what having a relationship, friendly or even romantic, meant. But at the age of twenty-five, many days had passed since she made that promise.

At work there was that girl, or young woman rather, that she liked a whole lot. Even though the liking was only based on a daily hello and goodbye. That was all Sandra managed to say without going into a shy stutter or her face turning into a tomato colored feature. Maybe, after all that had happened the previous evening and night, she would step up to Lilly, that was her co-workers name, after the weekend. Seeing it now was Friday going on Saturday, she had a whole weekend to figure out what her next step might be. Maybe it would work out. But what was the definition of those works “work out”? So many questions that needed solid answers. So many things to make a young woman so insecure about herself.

All things considered, Sandra never had an easy life. Dealing with her mother’s death at a young age was already hard enough for her. She never really knew what had happened to cause her mother to die. This was also a question that she had asked both her father and her aunt but never got an honest answer to. She wanted to find out so badly, but also grew weary just thinking of what the answer might be, if she ever found it.
And then the abuse, neglect and seeing her father pop the gun against his head. She was in that room and saw it all. It was still haunting her during the nights. As said before, she did not believe in nightmares. But to others, they would really call those dreams freaking bad nightmares for sure. She never understood why her father saw no other way to live on and only the ugly way out. That was also a reason why it was so hard to find out what the reason could be of her mother’s death. For some years she truly believed her dad had something to do with it. Why else would her aunt, teachers and counselor never honestly answer that one simple question: “What caused my mother’s death?'”
Even though she loved her aunt a lot and really was grateful that she took her in after her father committed that “unnecessary” suicide, she had always missed her real mother and of course her father. Her aunt did show that she loved Sandra and also cared about her. But she could not help but feel that there was a great distance between the two of them. Sandra had known that this was partially her own fault, closing herself off to the rest of the world. Not being able to put trust in their relationship for such a long time. And again, she lost someone she cared about in a gruesome way.
No, Sandra never had it easy when you know all this.

But then, Sandra never told many people about her background. She felt ashamed to tell people that she was an orphan and that the closest thing she had to a parent had also died. Why she felt like this, I guess no one could understand. When you come to think about it, knowing this about Sandra makes it a lot easier to understand her. To appreciate her and to see who she really is. But no, Sandra wanted nothing like that. She felt like people only wanted to be friendly to her because they felt sorry for her. No, if people wanted to be friendly, it had to be because they cared for her and not her situation.

Sandra was a complicated young lady. But she had potential to grow. If only she dared to believe in herself.


This was the second chapter of "To think that you think that...". Please don't hesitate to point me to any errors you find. Suggestions and ideas are also welcome. Just place a comment if you like and be sure that I will read it!

TTFN, Cynni xx

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Cynni, the storyteller…

Every once in a while, I get the urge to just sit down and type. To write a story or poem. Or to get rid of some strange thoughts that just don’t seem willingly to leave my mind anything else but preoccupied. To write out some thoughts, feelings, things that bug or annoy me, things that I can’t seem to comprehend without writing them down. And well, at times I tend to write a story that also combines some thoughts or just what comes up in that silly head of mine. Why I am telling you this all? Because I just feel like writing something, it is my blog of course… But this is something that I normally don’t blog about. Normally I write more about how my day was, what I did and am planning to do. That kind of stuff. Not the stuff you may be reading, if you read on, in a few minutes. The thing is that I really do not know what I will be able to publish in the end. I just well, go with the flow as some would call it. So grab a cup of tea, coffee or anything else you prefer, sit back and read on. If you’re still interested. Or maybe I should write: read on, if you dare :)

To think that you think that...


It was a cold summer night. The air was so chilly, one would think it was half past autumn. She was walking so fast that it felt like the cold wind was making cuts across her cheeks. Maybe it was only the cold, maybe it got worse due to the tears running down from her eyes. She couldn’t really care, all she wanted to do was get home. Get away from what she saw, or what she thought she saw, what she believed she saw or maybe what she wanted to see. Wanted might have been the wrong word to use, but her mind was running almost faster than her legs and it all was very unreal. How could it be real? How could it be?
She almost was home when she heard footsteps behind her. Was someone following her? No it couldn’t be. She would have heard those footsteps earlier. Was it just a coincidence? After tonight, she would probably never believe in anything being a coincidence ever again. So that would have to be a second “No” to her own questions. But there were so many questions that were in search for answers. Though she wasn’t sure she’d be able to answer all those questions herself. While thinking of someone who’d be able to help her, she almost forgot those footsteps that she heard just before. When she got her focus back on it, the sound was gone. So maybe it was a coincidence after all. Maybe she was imagining stuff now. Though seeing what she saw this evening, even if she just thought seeing it, could and would drive anyone crazy. Or so she thought while finally reaching her flat building. She looked around her shoulders just one more time, to be absolutely sure that no one was following her, and she quickly unlocked the main front door. She made sure the door was locked again before she followed the stairs to her floor.
There were four floors in her building, she was on the top one. She believed it would be safer. Why, she never really was sure about that. She thought it would make burglars think twice before trying to empty her apartment. But at other times, when she was reading some news bulletin on a website about people getting killed in their own homes during fires, she wondered what she was more afraid of. Burning to death or being robbed. She’d like to think a lot. Think things over and over until she was satisfied. Or till she thought she was satisfied. She could be very sure about herself and convince just about anyone that she was in fact sure, but still be extremely in doubts in her mind.

But when she finally reached her flat, she saw the door was ajar. She had 3 locks on it, so someone really had done a swell job cracking all of those. But shouldn’t her neighbors have heard anything while that person, or maybe persons, was working that hard on opening her door? They were complaining often enough when she was listening to her music or watching a movie with the surround system on. So how could anyone miss the noise this must have made? Should she call the police or just move slowly towards her door and see what was going on? Thoughts were still racing through her mind of what had happened what seemed like a nano second ago. And now she had to work this out as well. Her mind was making over hours this way and she could not bill them to anyone but herself.
She decided to slowly move towards the entrance. She examined the locks to finally notice that they didn’t have a scratch on them. They were all open without her being able to find any marks on them. No sign of forced entry as they would call it in any cop show you’d see on TV. She stayed in the doorway while she called out. Once, twice, three times in total. If someone was inside, he or she was extremely good at keeping still.
Then she finally decided that she did not forget to lock the door, let along to forget all three of the locks, so she flipped out her cell phone from her pocket and started typing in the central alarm number. She told the operator what her situation was and they’d dispatched one patrol unit to come and check it out. She was told to stay where she was until the policemen were at the scene. While she waited, she felt like she was really going crazy. Those thoughts, all those ideas that kept screaming for any attention, all those questions that wanted to be answered asap.
Since she still had her phone in her hand, she decided to use it wisely once more. She opened up the QWERTY keypad and initiated the Word Mobile® software. She typed slowly, trying to give all her thoughts the best description so she’d be able to sort them out at a later time. And even though she rethought about each and every letter she typed, deep within her she wanted to race her fingers over that damn keyboard. Even if it helped just a little bit to comprehend it all, or just a teeny weenie winey bit, she’d be eternally grateful. Because there was just so much that she could take in one night. And that much was already achieved on the way home. This was getting too much, even for her, to handle within a few hours. It would be too much for anyone, she thought, though this was not one of the thoughts she noted down on her phone.

She was so busy arranging her thoughts that she did not even hear the cops climbing up the stairs towards her apartment. There were two of them and they gave her quite a startle. Not because the looked freaky or anything but more because of her preoccupation with her thoughts and cell phone.
“Excuse me, miss. We got a call that your apartment was burglarized.” She quickly saved the document before putting away her phone. Then she looked at the two cops, a male and female one, before answering them. “Good evening. Could you please show me some ID’s first before we proceed?”
The cops grabbed their wallets and flashed out their Metro Police identifications and nodded politely while doing so. After she had checked them, she knew that the female was called Janie Peterson and the male Jack Jones. For some reason she thought it important to remember their names. While she was mentally making a note of those names, making sure she’d remember them when they left so she could write them down, the male cop was talking to her.
”Miss? Could you please answer our previous question now? You reported a burglary?” She shook her head, also to clear some her thoughts, and then slowly answered the question. “No I only called because I have three locks on my door, which I am sure I locked before leaving. When I came home, the door was ajar without any scratch on the locks or doorframe. So I called it in before proceeding. I did not want to disturb anyone or maybe destroy any evidence if there is any inside of the house.” “Why would you think there’s any evidence, miss?” “Well, if someone went through all the trouble of opening three locks as quiet and clean as possible, I would not think it was just for the fun of it. Why go to the trouble if you don’t want to get inside?” The cops made some notes and exchanged some looks before putting on some gloves.
”Ha!”, she thought. If the cops were using gloves, they too think something could be wrong.Why else go to the trouble of putting on those latex gloves if you think nothing’s wrong? All the thoughts she just got rid of by writing them down were made complete again with all the new thoughts that came running into her mind while she was talking with those two cops. And in between it all, she kept repeating: Jack Jones and Janie Peterson, Jack Jones and Janie Peterson…

Mister Jones grabbed out his flashlight and Miss Peterson followed her partners lead. He slowly pushed the door open, while announcing himself to anyone that might be inside. With his flashlight he scanned the room. When he thought it was safe, he searched for the light switch which was near the entrance. The cops were still outside, scanning the room again now the lights were on. Jones took a small step inside while Peterson started to screen the locks and doorframe. Jones and Peterson made some notes without saying anything. This was quite confusing seeing she was wondering so much what was really going on. Was she allowed to follow inside or should she remain in the doorway?
At that moment, Jones turned around and came back to her. “If you could please follow me, miss. To see is anything is missing or put back in a wrong way.” Peterson signed for her partner to come closer to the locks. “Miss, are you sure that you locked the door?” “I just told you that I an very sure that I did indeed lock it, all three of them.” What was wrong with these people? Had they not been listening to her the first time?
“Sorry to ask you again miss, but it seems that these locks were unlocked when the door was opened. There is really no sign of forced entree, one way or another.” She started to get quite annoyed, because the way that Peterson told her this, the tone almost suggested she was talking to a freaking 4-year old. Not to an adult who certainly and surely knows how to lock a door. “Miss Peterson, I am absolutely sure that I did lock all three of the locks before leaving. I always check and double check, because I am far too attached to my possessions to leave them behind an unlocked door. Not because they are extremely valuable money’s worth, but they are valuable to me personally.”
“First of all, it’s Mrs. Peterson to be exactly.” The way she had said that, there had to be a second of all. Peterson exchanged a concerned look with her partner before proceeding. But instead of Peterson continuing it, it was Jones who came up with the second of all.
”Second of all, there seems to be nothing wrong with your apartment. Besides from being it one of the neatest crime scenes I’ve ever seen. That is, if it would be a crime scene. I am sorry to say miss, but it seems there is nothing wrong here. We will make a note of it all, but there is nothing more we can do here.”
She looked at the cops, thinking a whole lot of things, some not too nice, and then nodded in agreement. She did not agree though, but she just felt there was no way to make anything work between her and the two of them. So she thanked them, even though they did not really do anything to help, it did seem the polite thing to do. They nodded and wished her a pleasant night and went off.

She went inside and bolted the door from there. There were many more thoughts that needed to be sorted out. And quickly before her head would explode. It felt like it was all filled up with C4 explosives, ready to press the button that would make it go “KABOOM!”.
She turned on her laptop and transferred her Word document from her cell phone to the laptop using a Bluetooth connection. She had connected them using a secure code, so no one would be able to hack into it. She always had been cautious about many things. That’s how she was sure that she did not forget to lock the door.

She had many quirky habits that some would even describe as neurotic. As a kid, she felt so insecure about herself. She was always the laugh of the class, the joke of the day and the one who was being singled out. All those things made her so insecure about everything about her that she got some habits she could feel secure about. But there was always the nagging in the back of her head: her consciousness telling her to be careful. Be careful or someone might get to you. Might be able to touch you in a way that would make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe even hurt you. So always be cautious about many things, almost everything, if possible.
It was also the reason why she did not have many friends. She felt like she wasn’t made out of the right material to be able to form a equivalent friendship. And it was very hard for her to be able to trust someone, anyone. She had been pestered all her childhood life and that surely had left it’s marks and scars.

When she transferred the file, she opened it on her laptop. But she still did not feel safe within her own place. That cop Jones only looked around the living room. Which seemed strange, because in all the police shows she’d been watching on TV, they always check the entire apartment. Not a glance around the living room. But also a look inside the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen and all other rooms that a house might have. It felt unnatural for a cop to leave a scene so quickly, for nor being thoroughly in their research. It also felt like they did not want to be there, like they felt awkward for even having to set foot in her place.
Before she felt secure enough to continue on her “thoughts file”, she wanted to check our her place by herself first. She grabbed a baseball bat. She had bought it because living alone for a woman in a big city can feel threatening at times. Especially when you are insecure about yourself to begin with. She kicked off her shoes under her laptop table before continuing her research. This way she could walk almost soundless around her apartment. She had it all carpeted so she just thought it best to continue bare footed.
She slowly walked towards her bedroom. She felt cold air when she slowly opened the door. Since she always locked the windows before leaving the house, it was strange to feel cold are rushing towards her. Her heart skipped a beat and the adrenaline rushed like a madman through her body. She quickly used the light switch and saw that the window was, like her front door, left ajar. So someone must have been in there and left through her bedroom window! Or someone wanted her to think that.
She felt like she should call the police again, but she also felt like it would be of no use, no use at all. They did not take her seriously the first time, so why should they if she called them in again? No, she had to figure this out by herself. She went inside the room, only to see that nothing was missing, misplaced or anything at all. It all was there just as she left it, besides from the window. She thought of fingerprints and how she would be able to check them. But what good would it do? The person, or maybe persons, did such a good job on opening three locks without any scratches. They would not be stupid enough to leave any prints. So she went to the window, closed it and bolted it, just to be sure, again.

After the check on her bedroom, she found all other rooms to be left just as she had earlier that day. So feeling a bit more secure than before, she went back to her laptop. It was already showing a nice screensaver with some lovely holiday pictures she had made. She kept the bat close to her as she sat down and started typing once again. She raced over those keys and the document grew rapidly. She never knew she could contain so many different thoughts inside of her head.
Before she knew it, it was almost 3 am. She did not feel tired, not at all. The adrenaline inside of her kept her going like a steam engine on fire and besides, she was too scared to go into her bedroom and close her eyes.
She slowly checked the list of thoughts, rearranging them into smaller lists. The important thoughts that needed to be answered asap and the less important ones. The thoughts that had anything to do with the break in and also with what she’d seen earlier that night. How could she ever describe what she had seen? Was there a way to put it to words? But how could she put something to words if she wasn’t even sure if it really happened. If she saw something real or if her imagination was playing games with her from the start. But even if she could put it to words, who would want to read or hear them? And if she could find someone willing to listen or read, what would that person do after it’s all been read or told? She already saw herself being shoved into a white straight jacket and shipped off, straight to the nearest mental hospital.
But maybe she would try to put it to words, just for herself. So she could read and reread what had happened. Or at least she thought what happened. How could you ever believe something that looked like magic when you don’t really believe in it? Magic hocus pocus always was like a myth to her, one she didn’t ever think possible. She had watched a lot of episodes at the Discovery Channel “Mythbusters” series on TV. She had seen many myths gone busted, so why not bust the myth of magic herself? She did not need Jamie and Adam with their myth busting team to convince her about this all.

Magic? Magic!?

Was there really such a thing? She thought it might be better to sleep for a while. On the couch though, with her bat ready when needed. After encrypting her word documents and shutting down the laptop and cell phone, she checked, double checked and again rechecked all the locks of the doors and windows. When she was absolutely sure that there was nothing unlocked, she got a small blanket and a pillow and lay herself down on the couch. Sleep caught her almost immediately. But instead of getting some well deserved rest she got some very weird dreams. Some would call it nightmares, but not her. She did not believe in nightmares. To her, everything that she dreamt about had a deeper meaning. And the more important it was, the better she would remember it when she woke up.


If you liked it, please let me know and write a comment! I am looking forward to your suggestions and ideas and also, of course, to your honest opinions! I am just going with the flow, writing this from scratch… But it will be continued, so keep checking my blog for any story updates!

An old poem

I had posted this poem on my previous blog. I also have some poems posted on my website. Please follow these two links if you are interested in reading more of my poems:
Cynni’s poems, page 1
Cynni’s poems, page 2

But here is one poem that is not on my website.

Silence in my scream
I scream but it seems that I am alone
I cry and I get chilled to the bone
I scream again but I hear nothing
it’s like my voice isn’t working

The silence that surrounds me
The darkness that makes it impossible to see
The coldness that makes me feel so small
I want to get away from it all

So I scream again and there it is
Silence, it’s my voice that I miss
No one seems to hear me call
In the darkness I seem to fall

Then the silence embraces me
It shows me things I thought could never be
The screams I’ve made all fade away
But now, I think I’d like to stay

The silence that was in my scream
Was in the end only a bad dream
But it made me think again
That I am lucky with all my friends

© Cynni, November 13th 2008

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Fun filled weekend

Hello everyone!

While we're still at Yvonne's place and watching a BluRay Harry Potter movie, I am writing this small update.

Friday, after 8,5 hours of hard work I quickly went home to take a shower and change clothes. Then we had to go to Nijmegen. There we picked up my parents for a surprise dinner for mum. Since she's getting a new knee next Monday and will have to stay in hospital for several days... We'd thought it be nice to take her out for dinner. She didn't have to pay. We split the bill with my dad in the end. Dinner was lovely and we had a lot of fun.

Yesterday Joyce and I slept a bit longer yesterday, since we went grocery shopping in Cuijk that day. Then we had to get George ready to go to Nijmegen. We would drop off Chance and then head on to Yvonne. Steph and Kim would arrive around the same time as we planned to arrive. So we could all have lunch together. George was not in time today. He was in time on Friday and that was really surreal but so nice! Unfortunately it was on Friday evening alone...
Steph and Kim arrived a short half hour before we did (seeing George was half an hour late...). We had lunch, played a Buzz! Game on the PS3, George and Yvonne battled on Guitar Hero on their Nintendo DS lite systems and then we all watched the very first Harry Potter movie on BluRay. We sooooo need a HD tv at home! We have the BluRay player (since we also have a PS3 system)... So we're thinking about getting us a lovely big HD tv to hang it on the wall in our livingroom. Or maybe just put it on the cabinet our widescreen tv is on now. So instead of Christmas prezies we're hopefully getting a lovely HD tv instead. The PS3 games would be so much better on it compared with our tv now...

After the movie, well we put it on hold, we blew up the airbed and got ready for dinner. We first went to the ATM and then picked up our movie tickets. Then we went for dinner. The food tasted good but the service was f*cking lousy! Really slow and I mean too slow to even call it service... So after dinner and paying the check (with as little of a tip as possible!) we went to a cafe for a drink. The cafe was very nice and with fun and good service. After we finished our drinks we went to the theater for the movie. Seeing we brought drinks for everyone, we only bought some popcorn. We had a special ticket to buy one big box and get a second one for free. So we grabbed a salted and a sweet one and went to the register to pay. Then we went on to our seats. During the movie wen had a popcorn and m&m "fight" which ended outside on our way back to Yvonne's place. It ended with Kim's box on my head and wel, after that also the other way round.
When we were back we changed clothed and watched the resg of the movie. We also watched Buffy's "Hush" episode. But I did miss the end, because I fell asleep. It was so hot!

I did sleep a few hours but not quite enough to feel rested. We're not still watching the movie and I will publish this blog.

TTFN Cyn xxx

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Finally, a new vacation update!

Yes people, I am back with a new update on how our vacation in Bavaro was. It took me a while, I know. But hopefully the story I am about to write was worth the wait. Last time I blogged I left you after telling you about Saturday, June 20th. So I guess I will kick off from Sunday June 21st. Here I go!

Sunday, June 21st 2009

This day was an easy, lazy one. We spend some time at the Jacuzzi's, read our books and played our games. After a while, George wanted to take a swim. I did not feel very good so I went back to the room to take a nap. My stomach had been giving me some trouble, as in not willing to work with me the way it should be. Joyce went back to the room as well, but she stayed outside and read her book. She really wanted to finish the John Grisham book she borrowed from me, “The Testament”. I had read it the first time while on vacation in Isla Margarita and being in a country that is not too far from where the book takes place, it really helped me enjoy the book. So when Joyce asked me for English books to take along on our vacation, I told her to read the back sleeve of “The Testament” and she liked it enough to take it along.
Just after I woke, and already sat outside next to Joyce reading my book, our phone rang. Joyce answered. It was Wimpy, asking us if we were interested in taking the “Eco-tour” on Tuesday with him. Since we had no intentions in getting so very bummed out drunk again, we agreed to go along. We had to be ready at 7:30 on Tuesday morning. George was back and taking a shower and after that, he edited some stuff on the laptop while Joyce and I were reading. We took it easy, went to dinner at our usual time, made a small walk after dinner and then went back to the room to enjoy some games on the GameBoy/PSP and I enjoyed my book. Then we went to sleep after enjoying our lazy day. It was a Sunday after all *winks*.

Monday, June 22nd 2009

Another lazy day with a lot of reading. Joyce and I both read a whole book, but Joyce was a bit bummed that mine was about 200 pages longer as hers was. But still, we both read a whole book while sitting in front of our room. George was inside, playing with Windows® MediaPlayer™. He was putting some images and vids together. Unfortunately he has never finished the movie, so I will not be able to post it here. Ah well, back to the books. I read Sophie Kinsella’s “Remember Me?” while Joyce read Mary Janice Davidson’s “Undead and Unemployed”.
After a while, the weather was getting a bit darker, George yelled from the room that he wanted to take a swim. So I yelled back that he should go if he wanted to! But just after I said that, there was a loud bang of thunder. And then George yelled back that I wanted him to swim during a thunderstorm and that meant I wanted to kill him!!! It sounded so silly and funny. He can be such a wussy sometimes haha! But he can be a sweet dude as well, if he wants to be…


Near the end of the afternoon, we went to “Pikolo'” for some pizza, fries and chicken pieces. After that we took a nice stroll on the beach. George “found” a beach chair, and dragged it into the sea. Then he wrote: I “heart” C + J. But a wave came and took his text away.

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George kept laying there…
till he got a wet @$$! Haha!

Joyce and I…
a very flattering picture…

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Through the clouds, the sun came back…
only for a short while though, evening was setting in.

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Some more sun on the way back to the hotel for dinner

After a while, we were getting really hungry. So we went back to the hotel to grab some dinner. I was hoping banana’s would help me get my stomach into active mode again. And that obviously lead to a silly picture.


After dinner we went back to the room to prepare our bags for the tour we'd be taking on the following day.

Tuesday, June 23rd 2009

We had to get up early so we’d be able to have breakfast at 7 am sharp. We were supposed to be ready at 7:30, so this gave us 30 minutes to eat, drink and visit the toilet again before setting off on our first real “adventure”, the “Eco-Tour”. But even though Joyce and I were ready in time, it was already 7 before we even left the room. And then we had to hold the truck, because it was ready to move but George wasn’t moving yet. He was still on the toilet. So I begged the driver to wait and Joyce even went to the men’s room to warn George that he really, really, had to hurry. When he finally was in the truck, we went on to pick up the rest of the group. And then, we also picked up Wimpy and we were on our way.

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We had a group of 8 people, and then Wimpy and his driver.

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The way the locals travel

The first stop was in a local market. A very small market but they sold a whole lot of different items. Some new, some already been used… Wimpy bought some items that he needed on our last stop.
He told us some more about how women are being treated/used on the island. How they were just “toys” to many men. And how the drunken men sometimes went on to the kids after doing their moms. We were really disgusted by the idea of it all. But it did and does explain why there are so many kids on the island, on why a human life doesn’t mean that much as it does here and it also explains why many kids do not know their real father. The women and men are raised this way, if you want to call it “raising” and the don’t know how to break the pattern. Only the rich people behave in a more dignified way, but not by much. I mean, the men still like to have more women, but they have more intension to keep them and pay for them, support them. It’s even said that when a man only has one wife (which is also not always really his wife, seeing marriage is not really a thing they do on the DR), he must be gay… And so it is that there are 14 years old carrying babies in their arms which are their own kids…
There have been more than one attempts to “help” the kids and women, to get them out of the use/rape/abuse cycle. But when they’re supported with money, they use it on themselves and then return to their normal lifestyle. When they are taken to a safe house, they go out and find men on their own instead of the men finding them. It’s really the DR way of life and they just seem reluctant to break that cycle. Kids often do not know their dads, they are raped at a young age and when they grow up, they start using young ones themselves. Kids are known to start drinking at the age of 4 and no one thinks that’s strange. It really proves what kind of Third World Country it is and that it is almost not possible to change their ways of life to a more “civilized” way. They can’t and won’t accept help, they gladly take your money and then it’s over and done with. Ah well, it’s not my place to be judgmental and also not in a position to make a change. So I’ll just leave it as it is. This is “just” what Wimpy showed us and told us.

Then we went to a small ranch, to do some horse riding! Me on a horse! But I quickly felt sorry for the horses. The way they were treated by the men there, made me want to smash the guy who kept whipping the horses… My horse was on the back of the line a lot and every time the guy just made a “warning” noise, she really felt uncomfortable and I felt it. And the guy even whipped my horse when she could not go any faster because there were like 7 horses in front of it. So sad. I had to hold myself not to get too aggravated with that stupid, uncaring man! Poor horsey… I just wanted to take it home, to a country where she would be more loved and less whipped over stuff she could do nothing about… Ah well, I guess that’s what you get in a Third World Country… Animals have lesser “rights” than they have here with us. But here are some pictures. Only George had a camera with him, I was too scared I would drop mine if anything would go wrong while riding that horse.

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Riding on the sad horsies

After we left the poor, thin and whipped horses we went on to a family of women. The eldest woman had taking in a lot of kids in her care. She showed us how they live, the normal kitchen and the “expensive” kitchen, their bedrooms and so on. It was just a very small house and knowing how many people live in there, amazing. Though I must admit, that with the 2 next tours we took, when we also passed their property, I could not see a living soul there. Wimpy had told us of the expensive tours which you book with your operator, that they hire people to occupy a house when they visit. And that these were real people living there. Seeing they all had no jobs, one would think that you’d see at least a couple of people around in the shades when you pass them by. But nope… So I kept wondering if this “family” was real, or also just for show… Ah well, doesn’t really matter a whole lot so I will just share some of my and George’s pictures here with you.

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After visiting here, we went on to a more remote village. We first picked up a female teacher and her son. We were going to visit a school. They had a day off, but seeing Wimpy built the school and pays for the teacher, the kids had no problem with coming to school. There wasn’t a lot else they could do. Besides being used to make money for their family.

I actually wanted to finish this day’s blog, but seeing there have been 3 days without me working on it (too busy unfortunately), I will post it now so it’ll give you something to read. I will try to update my blog more regularly, but the following week is quite a busy one for me. So I will do my best.

TTFN, Cynni xxx

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A new "toy" for Joyce

Hello everyone!

Today I had the day off. My parents came home from their vacation. I had already planned to go "shopping" with mum this afternoon. So when they were home, we emptied their car. And then mum and I were off to Arnhem, Media Markt. Joyce had absolutely NO idea what we were doing and what was going on.
So we arrived at the store, found what we (well I, mum did not really know) were looking for. After some irritated minutes (staff wasn't too helpfull at first) we finally got the papers we needed to head to check out.
We got Joyce a nice Acer Aspire 7735 series laptop (check the image or website), a laptop big back-pack and an USB mouse. So that she's got all she needs, laptop wise, for her new start at school. She still doesn't know too much about it but well, the laptop is good to go and ready for all the hard work she'll be doing on it.
I must admit I am kinda jealous... The laptop is bigger, better and of course newer than mine. But my laptop isn't bad at all (also an Acer Aspire, dunno the number though). Still, 17" screen is lovely to look at *winks*.
Joyce was quite surprised, tears in her eyes and all, when she got the prezzies. So hopefully she'll be able to use it a whole lot making loads and lots of good school stuff on it. And of course she may install a game or so on it. But only if she remembers to finish her homework first, hihi!

Will watch some more NCIS DVD with Joyce.
TTFN, Cynni xx

Saturday, August 08, 2009

How Sony PS3 messed up…

… 2 of the best songs in the world…

I was happy to read about Sony’s PlayStation 3 SingStar update would include the “Roxette Ballad Pack”. We downloaded it through Sony’s Playstation SingStar store and immediately started it after the installation was done.

What a bummer though… In 2 out of 5 songs, Sony made an error in the lyrics.

It must have been line

This is during the song that became famous because of the “Pretty Woman” movie with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere: “It must have been love”. Unfortunately, Marie doesn’t sing “a stare of silence” and ever since the song was written in 1988/1989 (with the original name: It must have been love (Christmas for the broken hearted)), there was always the line “there’s air of silence”. So that was the first bummer.

Then we played “Spending my time” (original from the 1991 “Joyride” album). And in the end, I found error number two. Now this error, many people were already wondering for ages what Marie really sang, since this line is NOT in the original lyrics which are featured in the Joyride CD cover. Some people thought Per was a very naughty writer and some didn’t have a clue. It’s about the following line.

Roxette,PS3 Sony

A bit blurry picture, I admit, but you can see the line “it pains me being without you honey”. Because of the speculations (one very PG with: I masturbate without you honey), some fans did ask Per when they finally had the chance what Marie did sing. The answer: “the bed’s too big without you honey”. So that was/is mistake number two. All in all, I did enjoy the songs a lot and I’ll keep trying for that PERfect score…  And of course, I am still eagerly waiting for an announcement of “Guitar Hero Roxette”. If only… If ever…

I already informed Per of these errors through his Twitter account: @PartyCrasher. He Twitted back that he wasn’t aware of these mistakes/errors. Hope he can make Sony change/edit their Rox ballad package errors…

I do hope Sony will correct these errors and will allow everyone who got the package including the faulty lines to download the right lines for free. Seeing we already paid for it…

That’s it for now. I’ll go and use my Wii fit again. It’s been too long and I could use the exercise. Yeah, that’s right. I have both the Wii and the PS3 (and also a PS2 and PSP and George’s got a DS).

Cynni xxx

Friday, August 07, 2009

Here I am...

...this is me, there's no-where else on earth I'd rather be... © Bryan Adams, OST Spirit.

Here is yet another blog post made by me. It's a very mobile one, so send from my phone. That means it ain't very fancy with colors and all. But still, it's an update from the world of Cynni.

It's been quite a week since I last made a blogpost on Monday. Joyce and I did find the Roxette ballad pack for the Sony PS3 SingStar edition. But that also made me a bit sad, seeing Sony had screwed up two lines. One in the "It must have been love" song and one in "Spending my time". I don't believe I've blogged about this before, but well, if i did, just skip this part then. But when Joyce and I were playing the songs, Marie did not sing either "there's air of silence" nor "the bed's too big without you honey"... I did inform Per through Twitter (@PartyCrashr) about the lousy mistakes which were made by Sony. It seemed I was the first to mention this. So later on I even made two digital pictures while playing the game so (hopefully) the errors would be visible.

On Tuesday, the weather was lovely (as it was the whole week). Since it was not busy at work, I was allowed to go home at 1 pm. I texted Joyce about going to the Maas with the doggies so they could swim and play. So when I came home, I just had to change clothes and then we went to the Surfers' Corner in Linden. When we arrived, Chance was not listening and Joyce wanted to shut the lid of the trunk fast. She grabbed it with two hands and pushed it down. Only, it did not go all the way down, seeing there was my head... Luckily I was wearing a cap, otherwise I would not know what might have happened. But it really hurt and I felt kinda dizzy and my head began beating hard inside. I got very angry and was not at all amused.. In the end I ended up with a very small (but it IS there) dent in my head, just where the lid had smashed me in the head... Or on the top of my scull, near the hairline, I should say/write.

So up until today, my head still doesn't feel right and when I bend down too long, I get all dizzy when having to get up. Not to mention the way the world seems to start spinning when I lay myself down on bed.

Wednesday, Thursday and today all have been crazy hot days, in between 27 and 32 degrees Celcius. I was sweaty, icky and stinky at work and had to work whole days. I sometimes went crazy running around, being the second cashier and the one who needed to do 101 chores as well.

I did receive word about the chance of getting another job. I am still kinda in doubt but the new thing is quite a challenge and if it goes well, also a great experience for me. But since I don't have any big news yet, I won't post about it. Well, aside from this.

Joyce and I also got busy playing the Wii sports new pack, with the enhanced controllers. It's quite fun to do and the reaction of the remotes is indeed a lot better.

This is all for now folks. I'll be back, for sure ;-)

Much hugz,
Cynni xxx

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Some random pictures

Tuesday, July 21st 2009
First day of the 4 day marches, Nijmegen, The Netherlands
Traditional fireworks, “De Waal in vlammen” (the Waal in flames)

Such a lovely weather,
we even got a rainbow…
A close-up
Getting busy at the Waalkade (the platform)

Brutus & Chance
Which basket is whose?
What’s wrong in this picture?
Lovely basket,
a bit too small though…
It just fits…
Wah-wah here is the sun…
… and there’s Brutus
Chance’s new basket
with a dachshund inside
*yay* the right dog in the right basket
They do know how it’s supposed to be!


Hello everyone,

you might have noticed some small changes on this blog site. I have added a new links part, where you can find information about several items I've discussed on this blog. It also includes links to posts that are related, as well as links to Joyce's blog posts which are related to it.
All the sites are small, self made, websites, which I hope will help stuff be more clear and organised. Please don't be shy to place a comment here about the sites so I know if it's any help and all...

TTFN everyone, keep checking this site and I'll be back!

Cynni xxx