2010 has come to an end – part 1

Hello everyone and welcome to my first blog of 2011. This blog will be a summary of all good and bad that happened to me in 2010. Of course I won’t go into detail on everything. Some things I have blogged about, some things might be new. I really just want to type this as I go along and in the end, I’ll just press the right key to post this and it should be fine. So I guess this will be just another blog in my style :-)

In the end of 2009 I got fired from my new job. I had quit the job I’d been doing for 8 years to start something new. I had a two month training period with the new job. Unfortunately I got ill and it resulted into me getting fired.

So my 2010 started very badly. I was very depressed and I guess it wasn’t easy for other people to deal/live with me. I sought help and started an anonymous blog to make it more easily to write about all my problems freely. I don’t mind sharing stuff online, and I know my blog isn’t really popular, compared to others. But still, some things were and are too personal to write freely about.

I got money from welfare but it was hard to make ends meet. I fell down in a hole and I just couldn’t climb out all by myself. So I sought help and got some. It started well, but too late in my opinion. And now I still am waiting for a follow up, been on a waiting list ever since May 2010.

I felt horrible. It was nice at times to be home, to be able to do as I please. But I had to write many solicitation letters and to some I got a reply, but not to all. And most replies were negative. So I felt even worse. I have blogged a lot back then on my anonymous blog, wrote a lot in my paper journal. I tried to make the best of it.

I was glad I had some money saved up. And I was happy that I already had paid for my ticket to FedCon 19. My parents gave me money for the hotel and because of that all, I could do something positive: visit FedCon 19 in Bonn, Germany. This is a big convention that is held annually. In 2009 Joyce and I went to our first FedCon, number 18, and we got hooked straight away!

A small impression of our weekend at FedCon 19:

The first evening, Thursday April 29th. We met up with some German friends we met back in 2009. This picture is made by “Battlestar Galactica” star Aaron Douglas!!! We were right next to their (Aaron shared a table with some Battlestar Galactica friends) table. We wanted to have our group picture taken. So I went over to the neighbors’ table and asked Kandyse McClure if I might ask a weird question. You saw her face change to “OK, here we go again” but she answered politely that I was allowed to ask the question. Then I explained that we would like to have our group picture taken BY one of them (so not WITH) and Aaron jumped up while Kandyse was still surprised. We had to yell “Battlestar Galactica” (so everyone was checking us out) and then Aaron took this shot. So it’s a great story with some great memories as well.

The first photo shoot Joyce and I had on Friday, April 30th: Terry Farrell and Michael Dorn (a.k.a. Jadzia Dax and Worf from Star Trek Deep Space Nine).

And the thing FedCon is almost famous for: queuing! And the fun thing is, you keep on meeting the same people in your queue or in the queue next to you. This is a gall we met at FedCon and we are still calling a dear friend :-D I really met some great and awesome people at FedCon :-)

Our second photoshoot on Friday: Kandyse McClure. YES! The woman I asked to make a picture of our group the evening before. She still remembered us and we had a really nice chat with her. She is lovely and has a GREAT memory of faces and names, wow :-O

And this is Aaron Douglas. YES, the man who took our picture yesterday.

These were the photo shoots we took on Friday. I have made many pictures of the opening ceremonial. They are on my Flickr account, BUT you need to be my friend in order to see them. In the past I have shared my convention pictures in high quality with others freely and unfortunately people have taken advantage of me. So now I would still like to share pictures with friends/people who also love conventions and all, but only behind "closed gates" a.k.a. a Flickr account with a friendship bond on there. If you already have a Flickr account, please just look for me on there using the nickname SuperCynni. Send a request to befriend me. If you aren’t a Flickr member and you would still like to see the pictures, please sign up for Flickr on their main page (only takes a minute or so and it’s completely free) and then search for me to send the friendship request.

Our first photoshoot on Saturday, May 1st, was with Chase Masterson. She is known ofr her character "Leeta" in Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

A dear friend of ours, which we also met at FedCon 18, really wanted another photo shoot with Kandyse. But his funds had run out... So Joyce and I decided to buy him a ticket as a birthday present. We really love the outcome of this picture! So we are glad we decided on giving him this present.

I wanted another picture taken with Kandyse as well. This is a lovely "hugging picture", as I like to call them. While Kandyse and I were ready, the camera man wasn't. So he asked us to wait for a few seconds. I mumbled that he could take a whole minute if he wanted to...I was fine. This was heard by Kandyse who had to laugh hard and then the camera man had to wait for her to be ready again... Great memories! Great hugging ;-)

TAMOH!!! A lovely picture with Tamoh Penikett from Battlestar Galactica. I even got to offer him a chair on Thursday evening when he came up to join his BGS friends and got a thumbs up then! Lovely...

James Marsters. We had only met up with him during Hallowhedon in the end of October 2009 so it was nice to catch up with him again.

*while scrolling through all the pictures (over 500) of FedCon 19 I uploaded to Flickr, I really was glad to be there. After so many rejections while job searching, after all the time of not having the money to do anything fun while being unemployed, this was really something I needed badly.*

Sunday, May 2nd, our last photo shoot...

When we had our second photo with Martha Hackett, we asked for a hugging picture. This is what Martha made of it. I LOVE ♥ it!!!

This was the update on FedCon. As mentioned before, if you are interested in my talk pictures and/or the opening/closing ceremonial pictures…check out Flickr!

On May 31st, my mum’s birthday, we went to the Dutch amusement park: The Efteling.

A small impression of our day at the Efteling:

All pictures above are made at the "Droomvlucht" attraction.

This year, due to the lack of money, we decided to go on a cheaper kind of holiday: take the caravan and go to Austria. We went to the place we already visited a few times before: Hartberg in the Steiermark region. The vacation had it’s ups and downs. Partly because I was still not fully out of my depression yet. Partly due to, well, other reasons. But we did have some real good times and I would like to share some pictures of that as well. I guess I will post only the first week and in my follow up post (I will hopefully be able to write it a.s.a.p.) I will continue. It’s 1:18 am and I need to work again tomorrow (starting at 13) so I do need some sleep soon.

Small impression of our first week on vacation in Austria, starting Saturday July 31st.

A few KM before the Austrian border, so still in Germany (near Passau) one of our mobile home tired blew. And it blew hard! That evening I found rubber in bed. Not the safe kind of rubber though, but bits of the tire...

We found an Irisch pub near by, I was thrilled for sure!

A long, widing path through the "Teichalm Moor".

Chance had a great time as well :-)

Folks, I am getting really tired so I guess it's time to end the blog for now and shut my eyes and hopefully get some good rest/sleep. Thanks for your interest and hope to be able to "tell" you more about my 2010 soon!

TTFN! ☺

Second free day

Hello everyone,

here’s another update from me. Yesterday I had my first free day. Officially I had to work till October 2nd at my ex-job, but since I had many vacation days left, I now have a week off before starting the new job. I still have to contact the new job to make some arrangements. But I am planning to do that near the end of this week. First I want to relax and let it all sink in a bit.

I am currently uploading some pictures to my FaceBook account. All convention related ones. Don’t know why I haven’t done that earlier…

And something a friend mentioned on our OMWF&friends board made me think last night. She asked if the reader of that post (it was in a game section) was missing his/her friends. When I gave my answer, it was no. And she reacted that she did miss her friends and could not understand why I did not miss mine. I already answered that question and thought about it some more. I don’t have to miss my friends because I know how to contact them in many ways. I can send a  text message, chat, e-mail, make a phone call or arranging a meeting… So there’s no need to miss them in any way. Sure, some times it can be easier to talk to a friend face to face. But when your friends live all over the country (and some even all over the world) you just have to accept that it can’t always be easily done. And my friends know how they can reach me, should they need me. So when I thought about it some more, I realized that I really don’t miss my friends because I’m always connected to them in as many ways as possible.

Ah well…

Dentist appointment in the afternoon. They'll hopefully fix my splint behind my teeth. And I am also hopeful that it will help to stop the tooth aches I’ve been having ever since last week, Monday.

Well, I’m off now to tag some picca’s @ my FaceBook. Check the link on my blog to find me there if you’re interested.

TTFN, Cynni xxx

If we changed it back again…

Things will never be the same

This is an un-official video, but the editing is just SO good that I wanted to share it with you on my blog.

First I’d like to thank my dear blog readers (& commenter's) on their sweet comments. I am still feeling unsure about what to do. And the silly thing is, that I really expected someone to comment like: you are insane if you are not going on vacation… But they is just the opposite off it all. And that makes me wonder… Even more than I already was wondering.I really do wish to go and I think I really deserve it (and yeah, I’ve paid for it already as well) but on the other hand, I am scared that my mood will f*ck up the holiday spirit for George and Joyce. I am afraid that because of my low self esteem lately, I will feel bad and because of that ruin there well earned days of sun, sea and delicious drinks. I am still in doubt and it feels weird. Even though I really wish to go, I also am afraid to go and mess things up. I know I am repeating myself but it is the thing that keeps my thoughts occupied these days, hours and minutes. I wish to have fun and relax and enjoy myself. I wish to feel better about myself again.

But the thing is: today I had my last physic therapy and I already told my boss (and wrote a note) in May. And soon I will have a day off before my vacation will start, to arrange everything and all. And today, he planned me the whole day and that extra day was planned in as well. I am not sure if he did it on purpose or not, but it did make me feel bad again. Like he’s teasing me, testing me how far I am willing to undergo and take it. As stated before, if he wants me off, he has to fire me… This is just one thing that makes me feel oh so insecure about myself. Makes me wonder if the work I do is appreciated and worthy. I know I do not earn as much as Joyce and I will never be able to earn as much as George. And I was used to the idea of him making more money and all, but the idea that someone 7 years younger with lesser experience earns the same (or even more) as I do now… It also adds to the wondering on how worthy I am. Seeing in the end of this month, I will work at my current location for 8 years already. And I know I have been absent for several whiles, but when I felt up to it, I always went to work. I even worked half days till about a week before my last surgery. And still I am told that I cost the company a lot of money… Other people would have called in sick 100% a long time before I have and I did my best. And I was also told that the last few weeks before that surgery, I was working “less fast” than was wanted. Yeah well, working on “tramadol” (painkillers) is still hard work, even if you don’t feel your pains and aches 100%… When I got that comment, I really had to hold back my tears, seeing I gave all I could when I could and still it clearly wasn’t enough.

So all that together, and with an extra added bad night’s rest (due to discomfort/muscle aches and nightmares) and a really low self image to begin with… Really made me feel like I did not matter. Like I just have to live to work and not work to be able to live. And when I had some time off from work, I would often spend it helping out George or Joyce (or both) with house chores. So no rest for my body as well. But if I would not help them, I would feel like I let them do all the hard work and I really want to do my part as well.

So now I am still in doubt about many things. Even though I have to admit I was really happy and excited when Steve opened up his prezzie during the voice chat with us and some dear other friends.

FINALLY I am able to post these pictures on my blog!!!

This surely made me very happy, but it also felt surreal. I am not sure if I can explain it, but I knew it would make Steve a very happy birthday boy *winks* and still I wished I would have been able to see his surprised expressions when he would pick the shirt out of the box and find out that it’s signed… And it was quite hard NOT to mention this “signing event” on my blog or board, because if he would real it anywhere, it would definitely spoil the surprise. Ah well, I am totally *yay* that it arrived safely and will now be framed as well *smiles*.

Usually, my working hours on Tuesday used to be from 8 till 17. Recently, as in the last 3 weeks, my boss has called me every Monday afternoon (at work or at home) to tell me that I have to start at 7:30.. *yay*… As said, I usually did not mind to work, but with all the real appreciation that has been shown, I really have to drag myself out of bed…

And now I am becoming so tired that I make errors in every 5 words I try to write, so I will upload this post and then get ready for a painful massage and then to go to bed.

TTFN,
Cynni

Preparations are being made

While there are just 2 more days of work before we have a long weekend off, I am preparing myself for all the fun things that lay ahead. Joyce has picked up the vaccinations that we’re going to need for our vacation. This week and next week, all of us will pay a visit to the doc’s office to have them injected and be totally ready for sun, sea and sex :) The good 3 S words :)

And Sunday, my mum is celebrating her birthday. We already got a present for her :) Hopefully she will like it. And then, after dinner, I will go to one of my best friends ever. She and I know each other now for 15 years this month and we’re going to celebrate that in Disneyland Paris :D Joyce has offered to drive me to her, because they are working on the railroad, and of course the track that I need. Which will cause my journey by train to take a lot longer than was planned. She will have to discuss with George if he would like to go with us, seeing otherwise they need to go to my mum’s birthday using two cars. Otherwise George would/will not be able to get home when he likes to. So Joyce will discuss this with George tomorrow… We’ll see what’ll happen… But June 1st and 2nd, will be filled with loads and lots of fun! I will have to work on Wednesday, half a day, because then I will get my vaccination shots that afternoon.

Disneyland Paris

One of the girls I met at Mr. Gessle’s “Party Crasher” gig in Amsterdam is going through a difficult time now. She is in my “interesting blog” links. A, I want to wish you good luck the upcoming time! I’ll be eagerly awaiting your next blog post and I hope all will go as you hoped for!

Tomorrow I will have to work from 8 till 17, finally a day that I do not need to start on at 7:30 already. Hopefully it will be a good day. Working many days from 7:30 till 17 is taking it’s toll from my back. I do not mind to work, but my back is still aching much at the end of the day. *sighs*

I will brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I need the rest.

I’ll be back
TTFN Cyn xxx

Bored with profile sites

Hello everyone,

today I canceled my Myspace and Hyves account. I was bored with them. I am even thinking of canceling my facebook account, seeing all I do there is play games which really do not have any real life use. They are just a way of spending my time, which I am guessing, I can use better. I will delete all my profile stuff from facebook though, I have a website, message board and this blog and I believe that's enough of me online. All personal other things are just as they are: personal. I am keeping my photobucket accounts and my youtube account as well. But I use them for other purposes than putting myself online. I guess I am still willing to share stuff about myself, but only on places where people know to find me and not just on a random profile site...

The last few days I have been quite down, depressed almost. Things just did nto seem to go as I hoped or wanted to. My reactions were also not always as others expected from me. I am sorry about it, but it's just something I need to deal with.

I hoped the pain would go away sooner, finally allowing me to do things that every 28 year old can do. Finally being able to really live the life I want to live, not being held back by my own body. But it takes way longer than I was ever hoping for or counting on. I want to be able to not feel pain, even if it would be for just one day to start with. The left shoulder pains I wrote about earlier, probably a small tear in my muscle. I need to take it easy, but keep moving and if it isn't over next week, see a doctor about it. So yet another thing that gives me extra troubles.

And I know I should be happy to live with two people who say they love me more than anything. But when stuff happens which makes me wonder, I start thinking of many reasons why things are different. Am I to blame for the recent changes, or is it something or someone else who's to blame? Did I give any reason what so ever to be treated in the way I am now? And you might already know how much I can think about stuff, well I can drive myself insane looking for an answer that I can agree on myself.

For me, some things are really important in normal day life and in any sort of relationship (friends, family or lovers): trust, honesty and being open. I absolutely hate lying and cheating! I could never do anything like that to the people I really care about. I'd rather be honest all the way so my friends, lovers and anyone who might be interacting with me at that moment, know I am telling them the truth, straight from the heart. I will not try to protect anyone's feelings by lying, because in my eyes, the lie makes it even worse. If I can't be honest and open to the people I just mentioned, what is the relationship built upon then? If I can't be honest with them, who can I be honest with then? If I can't share my feelings, thoughts and all with people who I care about (and I hope it's vise versa) then what does that friendship mean? What is it based upon then?

I know that I am always honest, especially to the people I care a lot about. I've lied to George once, but I had to in order to keep the surprise I was planning for him a real surprise... But I have always been honest and always had an explanation to why I felt that way about something. I also hate cheating on one another. I know that when I am cheated upon, even if it seemed just simple and innocent, it will hit me hard! Just because it is one of the things I would and could never do and I do hope that my lovers will treat me in an equal and fair way too. I could never shove my loved ones aside if it would suit me at any moment! Also because I hope they would never treat me in such a way either. It is not polite nor reasonable behavior towards people you love and care about...

Ah well, so I am going crazy with all these questions that go through me and all the silly answers my mind keeps on finding. My nightmares ain't helping a lot either. But 2 out of 3 profile sites are gone, did not visit them anyway, and all on Facebook is just for friends... No outsiders looking in. If you know me, you can find my homepage and then you can see all that I shared with you on this world wide web :)

Much love and hugs,
TTFN Cynni xxx

Lost in love

@ my attic room, behind my pc
♫ Bertolf: Not bringing me down (For Life album)
☼ None to be seen, only rain and more rain



♫ Not bringing me down

With your hand I was complete
now you're out of sight
That first time I could hardly see no light
but gone are the nights I couldn't sleep
I couldn't close my eyes
gone ate the cays
I could hardly keep from crying

(Chorus)
Cause I'm alright
Yeah I'm alright
It's not bringing me down
No more

Thought I could never get over you
it'd take a lot of time
Thought I could never love someone new
but why?
Well, that was a surprise cause I...

Chorus

Well, it hurt so much
but it doesn't hurt no more
When I'm looking for love
it doesn't lead me
To your door
tried to forget you so hard
Can't remember what it's for

Chorus

While listening to this song (again) I just started to write. It is not an autobiography or anything. Just my thoughts going *swoosh* and controlling my hands into typing this... This might make you wonder, this might make you skip this post. I dunno what you will do. I think I do care though, seeing I love to reach out to others and try to open up discussions about stuff. About things that I care about, things that make me think and wonder...

Lost in love

You hold me so close, though it feels like you're miles away. Your thoughts are not with you, with us, and it troubles me. I want to look you in the eyes and hope they will tell me where you are. But your eyes are closed, tears slowly escaping your lashes. Your grip on me tightens and it's getting hard to breathe. But I don't mind. Don't mind at all. Because as long as you're holding me, I know part of you is still around to be found. I want to talk to you, to ask you what's wrong. But I know it would be worthless and I will have to wait for you to start the talking. But you only deeply inhale and then you stutter while exhaling and the tears keep rolling down your cheeks.

You need me, maybe more or less than I need you. But I know that as long as we both believe in what's right, we are strong enough to make it though. I am not that strong or tough, but for you I will give my last bit of energy. As long as I know it will help you and I can count on you catching me when I fall. As long as I know that I'm not alone in all this.

All this going down around us. Making us bend and shape again and again. Twisting us into it's ways. Controlling it would be something we'd probably never totally accomplish. Since it is the way of the world, of the humans that live on it and the way they do that. People that you know can really affect you, make you do things that you normally wouldn't even dream of of doing it. But still, you feel there is no other way to do it, no other way out (or in).

And while I am holding you as tight as you are holding me I keep on thinking about how you were treated. How people have used you, and me too, and there was nothing you could directly do against it. You had to endure it, day after day. Making you both stronger but also really vulnerable. I saw you and know you were (and are) special. But you couldn't see it, not in a million years. The way you were treated and you were told that you were everything but special, you started to believe it. How could it not be true after hearing it so many times? How could it not be true when people who you thought meant everything to you were the ones telling you this? And now, now you are told that you are special and all. Why should this person lie to you and try to convince you of something that you're not? Or maybe, just maybe, that one person was right and you were lied to for a big part of your life. Trying to control you in a very mean way and *damn* they did conquer your soul. They had you on a leash all along. And then you wonder WHY WHY WHY??? To what use? Why use me? Why was I used?

While your mind is running all these questions again and again, the tears keep escaping from behind your eyelids, falling of your lashes and rolling down your cheeks. They are forming a river of loneliness. A river of pain that you endured all this time, keeping it inside because you thought you did not matter.

And now, you are lost. Lost in love and your thoughts. I keep on trying to get you back. Get you to talk to me. Get you to open up and see you can really trust me. Let you know that I do think you are really special and not just because I need you to do something for me.

Holding me tight, your breathing relaxes a bit. The in- and exhales are slowing down, less deep, less throbbing. Slowly your head tilts a bit towards mine and your eyes give in to opening up to me. While I am looking you in your eyes, I am the one getting lost in love...

Almost ready for the gaming friends

Hello everyone,

here I am again to inform you all that almost everything is ready for our 4 friends and the gaming weekend. We just need to do some grocery shopping tomorrow morning and then early in the afternoon our friends will start to arrive at our place.

OK, I've thought some more about Gin's comment on my "Friends will be friends" blog and I guess I have some more things on my mind (may be just random though, I never know really what I'll write and when I'm started I just go with the flow)...

I have been hurt by the way people treated me in the past and it took me a long time before I had some more self confidence. I knew that when I got messed around with, it was not my fault. Other kids did not like me for who I was, what I thought and how I reacted. They some times also beat the hell out of me, just for fun. When it was one on one, I usually ended up winning so then the one who got beaten up later on took revenge by coming back with his or her homies to hold me down... So if I let myself get beaten, it was not good enough and they'd surely do it again. And if I fought back, they sought out some companions and came back even stronger. As I wrote, I usually had one or two close friends and that was it. When I got to the 4th grade of the HAVO, I started to gain more self confidence and friends. Though the year after that was a tough one again... My grandmother died in the vacation prior to the start of that year. And halfway throughout it I learned about my hiptroubles and my first (upcoming) surgery. And it was the final year, so I had exams and all and I even had to study on my birthday, because the day after, my exams would start. Then the year ended, I passed the exams and went from surgery to my next education. There, I was a loner again and the next year, I started another education, which I also quit. I wasn;t really a big outsider there, but in my second and final year, George lost his mum (13 months after he lost his dad) and I decided I should get more hours in the job I had besides school so I could move in with him and support him in every way.

Ah well, drifting aside from what I had in mind originally. But then, I did mention I never really know where I'm heading when starting a new blog and letting my mind go wild.

Throughout the years, ever since June 1994, I have had a dear close friend. OK, our friendship did gain some bruises but they always recovered well. That dear friend is Eva:

Eva and me, in The Efteling, May 2005

And ever since august 2005, when I started my own board (which died twice so far, but I keep rebuilding it, with the help of my friends!) Once more, with feeling & friends and I got memberships on other boards, I started to gain more friends. First only online, but I can happily say that I met some of the members (and some quite often) and consider them my dear friends! We got to know each other because of some mutual interests and we gained very powerful and strong friendships because of that! THANKS EVERYONE!

Ah well, I guess I'll leave it at this now. Gonna get into my PJ's and get mentally prepared for tomorrow *winks*

TTFN (ta-ta for now) my dear friends!
Luv ya!
Cyn xx

Friends will be friends...

...when you're in need of love, they give you care and attention...
At least, that's according to Queen's lyric.

On my old blog I had some posts on my vision to some things, as to friendship and all. But since the old blog died (*sobs* so many hours of work on it) all the work died with it. And since some recent events happened, combined with the "experience" of my youth (gosh now I do seem old!) it got me to thinking again. Nope, for those who are wondering now, it doesn't hurt. The thinking part that is. Some of the old memories do hurt though...

I used to have just one or two good friends. Never really belonged in a popular group. How I hated it... But now I start seeing things differently (aging does silly things to you) and I think differently and that does change my vision and opinion. Now I have more dear friends than I ever had. And I know they aren't just my "friends" because they want something from me (like in the not so good old times). They do care about me and show interest in me. That realy feels good. But the strange thing is, that in my opinion, I haven't changed much at all. I am still me. Honest to the bone, straight forward and hopefully a devoted friend to others.

But what does bug me once in a while, is the way people have "used" my friendship. Or how people just seemed to think that my devotion to maintaining a good friendship means they can walk all over me. That I am a slave to their wishes. They were right when it comes to my childhood. But now, I am not that "easy" anymore. And then I wonder again, how people sometimes don't even try to position themselves in the other person's shoes, just to imagine how they would feel then. That might be one of my "flaws". I try too much to imagine how others would feel upon my doings.

Am I still interesting or did you skip and scroll for the biggest part of this blog already?

Some times people can make me really upset by saying things that they obviously did not think about before blabbing it out. They might mean well and have the best intentions... And then maybe they have only their best intentions... Or they really are ignorant to the hurt they can cause others by saying stuff without thinking it through first. Yeah maybe it takes you 3 minutes longer to spill your thoughts out. But what if you know that those 3 minutes might be worth it? That it could change your expressions so you still mean the same thing, but it's brought out better to the ones intended? As written, people who know me know I'm down to the point straight forwarded with anything I feel, think or just say. But I'll never make a comment or statement without knowing exactly why I feel that way about something. People who make a statement and then get asked why and then answer with something like: because it's just how I feel... They do not come over as very honest people to me. There must be a reason for them to cherish just those feelings... Are they afraid of telling the truth? Of exposing themselves? Or is it just because they want to make a statement but really haven't got a clue?

That's the thing about a good friendship. The understanding of eachother is like a foundation of a home. It needs to be solid and you need to be able to build on it. A friendship isn't like an instant home though... You need to build it brick by brick. Work together to make it strong and reliable. When there's just one person building and the other is nowhere to be seen, one should think about how serious the other takes it.
Of course you don't always need to agree on everything. As long as you both can accept each others feelings and meanings it can even make a friendship tighter. Because you have looked at things from different perspectives and still agreed that a different outcome isn't such a big deal. Of course, one could get into an argument about things. As long as the argumentations are honest and right, the outcome should be positive if the foundation of the friendship is a strong one.

Ah well, I may continue this another time...or not... It depends on my mood I guess. Feel free to leave me a comment! I'm always open for dictussions, opinions and other's views on things.

Ta-ta for now sweet followers!
I'll be back!

Cynni xxx