For sale!

Moon

Moon
Originally uploaded by SuperCynni

I was testing the nightshot settings of my new Nikon P500 camera. I used the pre-set settings, didn't change anything. And I used a simple tripod. Will test camera soon to write a more useful blog about it. It will be tested à la me, so not very professional. More for the "simple users". Not sure yet if I will post the blog about the camera here or on my other blog at http://supercynni.wordpress.com

Well, seeing I can work again tomorrow (yes, very happy about it), I guess I will go to bed now.

Thanks for checking in. Please also check out my other blog. Good night everyone!

Via Flickr:
Full tele, used tripod

Here I am again

Hello everyone,

sorry it’s (again) been a while since my last post. There are times when I can’t seem to stop posting and there are times when I barely can find the time to sit down, relax and type…

And I have started a new blog as well. I wanted to write about my previous vacations and also about my passion for elephants. So I decided to create a new blog for that and it’s been keeping me busy for a while. If you are interested, please click this link and check it out! And of course, feel free to comment either here or there. But keep in mind I am checking the comments before posting them so spam will never get through.

The Kuukse Kroegetocht was a blast. I had a great time and the weather was just lovely. Joyce took her old digital camera and we made some pictures. I still have to upload them to my Flickr site. But, due to the faces of us and other people being on the pics, I won’t make them public. They can only be seen by my friends and family. So if you’re interested, contact me at Flickr :) But it might take a while though before I could upload them… I have uploaded many other pictures in the past and some of those are public. So if interested, just check it out!

In 28 days I am going to FedCon XX :D I am really looking forward to it. Joyce and I have gold tickets (which, unfortunately, we won’t be able to pay for next year :( ) and I think we have decent numbers. So hopefully we’ll have great seats and we can make loads of pictures. And hopefully I have bought the camera I have my eye on now, so I can make even better (hopefully) pictures…

And now I have to get ready for work again. I am still working where I started last year in July. Still no contract though, unfortunately, but one can keep hoping. I am enjoying it and it also helps me pay the bills.

Hoping you all have a great day!

Kuukse 11 Kroegetocht

16-02-2011
Originally uploaded by SuperCynni

YEAH baby! It's almost March 8th, which means that it's almost time for the "Kuukse 11 Kroegetocht".

It's mainly drinking, music and much fun!

When I have more time, I will get back on this subject in my next post. I know I have promised that before but it's hard for me lately to put my @$$ down long enough to write something decent to share.

So I wanted to share this with you before turning in my bed. If you'd like to see more of my pictures, visit my Flickr site (I guess clicking the picture should work, this is my first blog post through Flickr). If you want to see ALL my pictures, you need to be a Flickr member and send me a friendship request. Without that, you can only see my non-private pictures,

*~*Sweet dreams everyone~*

Last day of the month - addicted to games...

Howdy!

I know that in my previous post, I promised you a part two. I still want to write it, but I just haven't come around to sit and type. But I will post it, eventually...

I have been quite busy. Either with work or with friends and/or gaming. I am a terrible gamer, to be honest. I can start some game, play a while, get stuck and never get back to it. I know it is not good to give up. But my skills have always been lacking, keeping me back from really finishing many games that I've started. Although I am now playing the new Guitar Hero game, Warriors of Rock. And I am very determent to finish it, even if only in "easy" mode. I love to play games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band. I also love some other games as well. I currently play the last GH (Guitar Hero) game, so the Warriors of Rock. At times I also plat the Aerosmith and Metallica versions or the World Band version. *All can be found through the GH site I just linked* With RB (Rock Band) I have The Beatles, AC/DC, Green Day and the LEGO editions. I am currently waiting for the deliverance of GH Van Halen and GH 5. So MUCH songs to play. Together or alone... We have two guitars, the World Tour drum kit and a microphone.
Recently I started playing Heavy Rain after I bought it for Joyce (well, if we have it, I might as well play it myself as well). I played a bit and then I wanted to reply a part. The game informed me that I might have to replay some other stuff as well, due to changed game play. But now I Googled some of the trophies that can be earned with this game. My newly played parts should entitle me to at least 1 or 2 more trophies and I did not get them BUT I do have to play everything again... Starting to think I should just start over all together. Because maybe then the trophies will be reset and I have a chance to earn them. Sigh... It's kinda frustration because I just did some parts of the game and I thought I did good and now I have to remember what I did when I play it again. Ah well... Keeps me from feeling bored...

I am really eager to receive my CD and LP copies of "Charm School", the new album of Roxette I mentioned in an earlier post. There have been released many snippets and now the album has leaked onto the WWW and is available in several torrent sites. I so want to hold the vinyl and feel happy. Who would have thought that Roxette would ever record a new album, let alone go on tour?!? Marie made a great recovery than we could only wish for. And now Roxette is back! Please check out the snippets (just Google and you will find them) and buy the album! It will be released on February 11th. And I believe they now also have a date set for the UK somewhere in April. iTunes will, no doubt, be offering the songs as well. What I have heard so far, it is WICKED!

Charm School, February 11th!
Reserve your copy now!

It's past 2 am and I wanted to go to bed like well, half an hour ago or so... Thanks for checking in and I will do my best to write more posts than I did last year. Of course, my lack of posting in 2010 has it's own reasons which I have mentioned... But I am working on it, on myself, and I will give all I can!

2010 has come to an end – part 1

Hello everyone and welcome to my first blog of 2011. This blog will be a summary of all good and bad that happened to me in 2010. Of course I won’t go into detail on everything. Some things I have blogged about, some things might be new. I really just want to type this as I go along and in the end, I’ll just press the right key to post this and it should be fine. So I guess this will be just another blog in my style :-)

In the end of 2009 I got fired from my new job. I had quit the job I’d been doing for 8 years to start something new. I had a two month training period with the new job. Unfortunately I got ill and it resulted into me getting fired.

So my 2010 started very badly. I was very depressed and I guess it wasn’t easy for other people to deal/live with me. I sought help and started an anonymous blog to make it more easily to write about all my problems freely. I don’t mind sharing stuff online, and I know my blog isn’t really popular, compared to others. But still, some things were and are too personal to write freely about.

I got money from welfare but it was hard to make ends meet. I fell down in a hole and I just couldn’t climb out all by myself. So I sought help and got some. It started well, but too late in my opinion. And now I still am waiting for a follow up, been on a waiting list ever since May 2010.

I felt horrible. It was nice at times to be home, to be able to do as I please. But I had to write many solicitation letters and to some I got a reply, but not to all. And most replies were negative. So I felt even worse. I have blogged a lot back then on my anonymous blog, wrote a lot in my paper journal. I tried to make the best of it.

I was glad I had some money saved up. And I was happy that I already had paid for my ticket to FedCon 19. My parents gave me money for the hotel and because of that all, I could do something positive: visit FedCon 19 in Bonn, Germany. This is a big convention that is held annually. In 2009 Joyce and I went to our first FedCon, number 18, and we got hooked straight away!

A small impression of our weekend at FedCon 19:

The first evening, Thursday April 29th. We met up with some German friends we met back in 2009. This picture is made by “Battlestar Galactica” star Aaron Douglas!!! We were right next to their (Aaron shared a table with some Battlestar Galactica friends) table. We wanted to have our group picture taken. So I went over to the neighbors’ table and asked Kandyse McClure if I might ask a weird question. You saw her face change to “OK, here we go again” but she answered politely that I was allowed to ask the question. Then I explained that we would like to have our group picture taken BY one of them (so not WITH) and Aaron jumped up while Kandyse was still surprised. We had to yell “Battlestar Galactica” (so everyone was checking us out) and then Aaron took this shot. So it’s a great story with some great memories as well.

The first photo shoot Joyce and I had on Friday, April 30th: Terry Farrell and Michael Dorn (a.k.a. Jadzia Dax and Worf from Star Trek Deep Space Nine).

And the thing FedCon is almost famous for: queuing! And the fun thing is, you keep on meeting the same people in your queue or in the queue next to you. This is a gall we met at FedCon and we are still calling a dear friend :-D I really met some great and awesome people at FedCon :-)

Our second photoshoot on Friday: Kandyse McClure. YES! The woman I asked to make a picture of our group the evening before. She still remembered us and we had a really nice chat with her. She is lovely and has a GREAT memory of faces and names, wow :-O

And this is Aaron Douglas. YES, the man who took our picture yesterday.

These were the photo shoots we took on Friday. I have made many pictures of the opening ceremonial. They are on my Flickr account, BUT you need to be my friend in order to see them. In the past I have shared my convention pictures in high quality with others freely and unfortunately people have taken advantage of me. So now I would still like to share pictures with friends/people who also love conventions and all, but only behind "closed gates" a.k.a. a Flickr account with a friendship bond on there. If you already have a Flickr account, please just look for me on there using the nickname SuperCynni. Send a request to befriend me. If you aren’t a Flickr member and you would still like to see the pictures, please sign up for Flickr on their main page (only takes a minute or so and it’s completely free) and then search for me to send the friendship request.

Our first photoshoot on Saturday, May 1st, was with Chase Masterson. She is known ofr her character "Leeta" in Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

A dear friend of ours, which we also met at FedCon 18, really wanted another photo shoot with Kandyse. But his funds had run out... So Joyce and I decided to buy him a ticket as a birthday present. We really love the outcome of this picture! So we are glad we decided on giving him this present.

I wanted another picture taken with Kandyse as well. This is a lovely "hugging picture", as I like to call them. While Kandyse and I were ready, the camera man wasn't. So he asked us to wait for a few seconds. I mumbled that he could take a whole minute if he wanted to...I was fine. This was heard by Kandyse who had to laugh hard and then the camera man had to wait for her to be ready again... Great memories! Great hugging ;-)

TAMOH!!! A lovely picture with Tamoh Penikett from Battlestar Galactica. I even got to offer him a chair on Thursday evening when he came up to join his BGS friends and got a thumbs up then! Lovely...

James Marsters. We had only met up with him during Hallowhedon in the end of October 2009 so it was nice to catch up with him again.

*while scrolling through all the pictures (over 500) of FedCon 19 I uploaded to Flickr, I really was glad to be there. After so many rejections while job searching, after all the time of not having the money to do anything fun while being unemployed, this was really something I needed badly.*

Sunday, May 2nd, our last photo shoot...

When we had our second photo with Martha Hackett, we asked for a hugging picture. This is what Martha made of it. I LOVE ♥ it!!!

This was the update on FedCon. As mentioned before, if you are interested in my talk pictures and/or the opening/closing ceremonial pictures…check out Flickr!

On May 31st, my mum’s birthday, we went to the Dutch amusement park: The Efteling.

A small impression of our day at the Efteling:

All pictures above are made at the "Droomvlucht" attraction.

This year, due to the lack of money, we decided to go on a cheaper kind of holiday: take the caravan and go to Austria. We went to the place we already visited a few times before: Hartberg in the Steiermark region. The vacation had it’s ups and downs. Partly because I was still not fully out of my depression yet. Partly due to, well, other reasons. But we did have some real good times and I would like to share some pictures of that as well. I guess I will post only the first week and in my follow up post (I will hopefully be able to write it a.s.a.p.) I will continue. It’s 1:18 am and I need to work again tomorrow (starting at 13) so I do need some sleep soon.

Small impression of our first week on vacation in Austria, starting Saturday July 31st.

A few KM before the Austrian border, so still in Germany (near Passau) one of our mobile home tired blew. And it blew hard! That evening I found rubber in bed. Not the safe kind of rubber though, but bits of the tire...

We found an Irisch pub near by, I was thrilled for sure!

A long, widing path through the "Teichalm Moor".

Chance had a great time as well :-)

Folks, I am getting really tired so I guess it's time to end the blog for now and shut my eyes and hopefully get some good rest/sleep. Thanks for your interest and hope to be able to "tell" you more about my 2010 soon!

TTFN! ☺

The new TV is in da house!

Howdy all!

My last post was about our new TV, well, the ordering of our soon to be new TV. Today was the day: delivery day!

After work, even before grabbing a meal, the old TV was taken down. Some cleaning first, then unwrapping and then the installation. I bought a HDMI cable at work (nice price!) so we could immediately enjoy our PS3 HD quality.

And wow, absolutely wow! What an image compared to the old one... OK we upgraded from 68 cm to 107 cm today. And from 720 to 1920 dpi... And from 100Hz to 200Hz. So many upgrades for our well spend money. It's really gorgeous. We will really get used to it quite quickly, I'm afraid (ha ha). But the joy of watching our BD movies and PS3 games in real HD quality... Wow...

So well, this was my short update on our new TV. Now we need more BD movies to enjoy, haha!

This might be my last post of 2010. I want to thank all readers for following my posts here. And I'd like to thank the people who have taken the time to comment as well.

Have a safe new years eve and see you all in 2011!

FINALLY!!!

YES! Finally, today it happened... What we wanted to buy ourselves for Xmas last year, we finally bought this year! Well, I spend most money, Joyce skipped in and George will (hopefully) buy us a nice surround set next year when his all his hard work gets paid for...

So yeah, finally we ordered a new TV. And not a simple one... Nope... OK it's not the most expensive, biggest one there is... But compared to the TV we use now, this one is MIGHTY!

This is our current TV... It still works fine, but I really want a HD TV... Especially combined with our PS3...

So hopefully the store where we bought the TV online will contact us on Monday to set the delivery date. We didn't chose for the installation option (it was € 69,- I believe) since I believe we will be capable enough to do that ourselves. Now we will check the stores/websites for a good hanging system. We want to hang the new TV on the wall behind the TV we have now. But we want to be able to rotate it left and right so we need to check for the available options. Costs and all. We'll await the arrival of our new TV first haha!

I will sign out providing you the (Dutch) link to the TV we ordered so you can all get an idea of the new beauty we'll have in our living room soon ☺Plattetvdiscounter.nl This link takes you to the right page.

Have a GREAT Xmas everyone!!!

Thank you Per Gessle!!!

She’s got nothing on (but the radio)

What she got she got to give it to somebody
What she got she got to give it to someone
It’s not a case of growin’ up or lots of money
It’s just the fundamental twist of the sun

What she got she got to let somebody find it (- “Really?”)
What she got is not for her to keep alone (- “Oh!”)
Nobody’s got a clue if there is such a reason (- “Yea?”)
Why she wanna play it o-on her own

She’s got nothing on but the radio
She’s a passion play
And like the break of day
She takes my breath away

What she got she got to give to some contender
What she got is just like gold dust on a shelf
And no one’s got a clue what’s on her brave agenda
Why she wanna keep it keep it to herself

She’s got nothing on but the radio
It’s a passion play
And like the break of day
She takes my breath away

Who did the painting on my wall?
Who left a poem down the hall?
Oh I don’t understand at all, he-he-hey

© gessle / jimmy fun music / august 2009

New single out January 7th 2011!
Taken from the forthcoming album "Charm School".

Some info written by Per on 22-12-2010 atwww.roxette.se:

Is Santa Claus an Eskimo masochist? The q is relevant since it’s sooooo cold in Sweden right now we poor Swedes can hardly breathe. All guitars are out of tune, thank God for the blankets we found in a closet at the Tits & Ass Studio the other day.

Anyway, we just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. 2010 has certainly been a fab year for us. We managed to finish the Charm School-album. I finally got my favorite pasta-dish right. Marie learned how to ski. I cracked the Top 10 on the go-kart track. Marie found her Trash & Vaudeville-pants from 1989 at the dry-cleaners. We did seven super shows in Europe. And there is more to come next year you know that. Plenty.

The new single will officially hit Planet Earth January 7 but knowing you guys you’re probably already tired of it by then... Charm School begins Feb 10.

So... thanks for all your support, we need that from time to time. Yea, we do appreciate your unconditional love now and forever (sounds like a song…).

See y’all somewhere around the globe next year. We promise to do our best to bring a smile to your faces. Have a great X and a most charming new year. Don’t drink and drive.

Love from Per & Marie

YES!

The new Buzz! game

Last weekend we were in Almere visiting a dear friend. Another friend also joined in. We were talking about Buzz! games and since our friend lives close to her city center...we went to Media Markt. And there I bought the game I was recently thinking about buying (and I mentioned it in my previous post as well).

So this weekend we've been playing the new Buzz! music quiz. Some questions were easy, for me. And some were really hard to me as well. So much to learn still...

But since our friend has a HD TV, we are amazed every time how frakking awesome it is! We still have a conventional old fashioned wide screen TV... So now we really want to get a HD one as well. We wanted to buy one last year already but then the money just wasn't there. Now I have been saving up a little. So now I am hoping to be able to buy a HD LED TV sooooon!!! With some help from Joyce. George is still busy with his company. But since he bought our previous TV, we don't really mind is he can't skip in. When he starts making a whole lot of money, he can buy us a 7.1 surround sound to add to the TV and PS3 haha! And of course he may buy us a nice dinner too!

So well, the new Buzz! game rocks! And so many new music info to be learned/taught! The layout is better, good improvements. Buzz, the game host, looks better as well. There are more name options to chose from. Also some new characters. But unfortunately some other characters have been deleted... Many game questions to chose from as well. Although Buzz seems to prefer certain performers/bands... I have heard many questions about Blur already... And some about the Cure too! But I have only played this game a few times so I guess there are still many questions to come!
More information about Buzz! The Ultimate Music Quiz can be found here.

I have made a video while my friends were playing. Here it is:



Of course we have the Dutch version of the game...

And hopefully soon a HD LED TV to play the games (and movies) on.... And I am also still interested in PS3 Move and also the guitar options for our SingStar games.... *sigh* I guess I need to work a lot so I can save a lot of money haha!!!

Have a good day everyone!

Party with PS3 and friends!

I have written posts before, about having fun with games and friends. Well, I am really busy trying to plan two more game dates next year... Not sure if I can pull it all off, but I am sure going to try.
One time with friends and the next time with my co-worker friends. The first one will be in February and the second one a month later ☺

People have been asking me which songs we have for the SingStar games. I know that Sony has updates for SingStar to add a guitar (or two) as well. I am very interested in getting those through the SingStore, but I have no idea about the costs. So MAYBE the SingStar games will have guitar add-ons then as well...

OK we have the following games (at this moment):
SingStar Vol. 1
SingStar Vol. 2
SingStar Vol. 3
SingStar ABBA
SingStar Queen
and we have downloaded some additional songs through the SingStore. Here you can find the disc info.
The official website where you can find ALL SingStar info is here. We don't have the "PS3 MOVE" yet... But you never know what will happen in a few months...

We also have Guitar Hero with the guitar, drum kit and microphone. We have the following games:
Guitar Hero World Tour
Guitar Hero Aerosmith
Guitar Hero Metallica
Rockband The Beatles
Rochband AC/DC live

And if people still get bored... We have DJ Hero and 3 games of Buzz!
We have:
Buzz!: Quiz TV
Buzz!: de slimste van Nederland
Buzz!: Quiz World

I really want to get the Music version as well.... But well, we'll see, we'll see...

I hope this post gives out enough information regarding the available games. And if this isn't enough, we also have a Wii with MANY games... Maybe my next post will inform you all a bit more about that.

And even though I could play any time that I am home, I still prefer to play with friends and loved ones. Makes it all more fun!

So much, so little, so...

Things I am looking forward to:
FedCon 20 (www.fedcon.de)
Hallowhedon 3 (http://massiveevents.co.uk/hallowhedon3)

Going to Oberhausen (Centro) next Saturday with my mum and lovers. I am very happy that Joyce got time off on Saturday to join us.
And on December 11th, we will see Harry Potter 7.1 again with lovely friends. Looking forward to that as well. Popcorn fight with Kim! Muwhahaha!
Maybe on December 18th we're going bowling with co-workers/friends... But it's still a plan in progress.

Things that I find hard to face:
Xmas. I am not sure what the plans will be. But I do want to share it with George and Joyce for sure. I am afraid that Joyce's "new found" family will pull on her for one of these days. And I am not sure how it will go. I would be happy to celebrate it just with my two loves. Maybe on the first day, invite my parents for a gourmet and on the second day: out for dinner at one of our favorite restaurants... Sounds good...

Things I would never want to face:
owwww I think it's not the time to think about that one. I would hate to lose a loved one! But I guess all have that fear...

Hmmm dunno why I wanted to write this but I guess I needed to vent it....

Time flies

There are times when I can't stop blogging. And there are times I want to blog but just can't find the time to sit down, relax and type. And of course there are also times when I don't want to blog at all.

I love to write. I love to blog. I love to keep journals. But most of the time, it goes well for a few weeks and then I just don't get to it and in the end it's been months before I go on. But I am glad I always know where my journal is and I also have this site to blog on.

Maybe it's also because I am active on Twitter and Facebook that I don't have enough time to write decent blog posts. But now the winter is setting in a month too early (frakking ☃ freezing here!) and I keep myself warm inside. And then I can grab my laptop, sit down with a nice glass of white sweet wine and type.

So that is what I am doing now. Sitting down and writing.

Many things have happened. Some good, some bad. But I want to focus on the good things. Even though there is a song that goes about ♫ all good things come to an end ♫. But I want to think positive. That can be quite hard for someone like me but still... I am doing my best.

Last month we went to Hallowhedon 2. I had a great time, hanging 'round with my girl and meeting up with so many other dear friends there. I would love to post the group picture, but Joyce still has it so I need to grab it so I can scan it. I will try to show it to you all soon! The guests were awesome. I really enjoyed myself very much! So much, that I got up early and went to the main hall on Sunday morning to grab the first gold tickets. And I succeeded! But when I needed to pee and neither Joyce nor Yvonne was around, I was in trouble. If I would go to pee and someone else would be coming in, I would lose the first spot. And I wasn't about to let that happen...
But I succeeded and I got Gold 1, Joyce has Gold 2 and Yvonne got number 3.



Joyce and myself with Anthony Stewart Head.



Me and Stephanie Romanov. GOOD hugger!



Jewel Staite... Lovely...



Alan Tudyk... Crazy!



Robin Sachs... Delightful, witty and wicked!

So well, this is my first post in a while and I hope to come back more often. Hope you liked it ☺

Bruce's first time swimming!

Hello everyone!

On September 5th, Chance took her friend Bruce for a swim. Bruce is 7 months (or maybe even 8 already) and never been swimming. Well, Chance has been swimming since she was 10 or 11 weeks, so she might be a good teacher, or so we thought. And we were right!

We, Joyce and myself, made some video's with Joyce's digital photo camera. I made a small movie of all these shots. I included a song which I have no copyrights on! These all belong to Ilse DeLange and her record company. I do hope they won't mind (well, they did on YouTube but now I put the original file up on FaceBook..) that I share this all with you. The song is called "Follow" and that is exactly what Bruce's doing: following Chance.

Enjoy this video! Feel free to comment ;-)

OK here I go

I know it's been quite a while and there are, of course, many reasons and some excuses for me not blogging in such a long time. I have blogged though, but on another site under another (anonymous) name.
As I have mentioned, I have some issues that are hard. I needed a place to vent, to write whatever I felt like writing. But I thought this was not the place for such writing. So I went to another blog site and typed my fingers off (when my mood was like it). But even on that blog site, I have had periods of quiet, empty space. At times I had such big headaches that my eyes could not stand the light of my pc screen. And believe me, I always use dimmed screens, otherwise I would not be able to use the pc and/or laptop at all. My eyesight is very good but my eyes are in need on sunglasses very quickly.And at other times, my mood was like heavy thunder and lightning, so not in the writing/sharing mood at all.

But I am trying to make amends, I am trying to get back to my own blog. Of course I will also try to blog every now and then on my anonymous one. It keeps me busy *wink*.

So after several months of unemployment, I now am working again. Not (yet) full-time, but hopefully that will happen soon. It's something totally different from what I used to do. But it is very satisfying to be able to work again! I am working as an order picker and packer in a huge warehouse. Everything that is connected to pc's is handled there. I started out by picking orders, which was a whole LOT of walking and at times, quite heavy lifting. Now I am learning to pack up orders. It is a little less fun from the picking, because you have less social contact with your colleges, but it is said that when you are a god packer, you might be able to make more hours. And of course, that sounds very good to me! So well, I am doing the best I can and hope that it's enough for a full-time job.
The only bad, well not really bad though, thing is, that you start working in the afternoon and most of the time it's 22:00 or later before you get home. So no hot meals with loved ones during dinner time. No TV-shows that are aired during prime time (so happy most of the shows I follow will be released to DVD). Ah well, I am working, and that is the good part! think positive!

It's getting late and I am getting tired so I guess I will leave this post as it is now, grateful for finally posting again after such a long time.

Ta-ta for now dears!

Holiday time in Austria

Howdy folks!

Yes I am still alive. I know it's been ages... That is why I am posting a video here about my recent holiday in the Steiermark, Austria. The video is linked through my Facebook account.

I will TRY to come back here more often, no promises can be made though...

Thanks for checking! Have a nice day y'all!

Busy

Hellow folks,

I felt it was time to explain a few things, mainly, the biggest reason for my lack of posts here lately. things haven't been going all too well with me the last couple of months and I didn't feel like blogging about it on a site where people "know" me. I have found a place where I can talk about my troubles, anonymously, and I am also seeking professional help.

I am working on getting better, which I try to remain positive about.

Last night I enjoyed a GREAT K's Choice concert in Vredenburg, Utrecht. It was really awesome and amazing. We were standing front row, in between Sarah and Gert. The atmosphere was really good and I enjoyed every second of it!

Now I am packing because tomorrow, Joyce and I will travel to Bonn, Germany. There we will attend FedCon 19! Whoop whoop! If we have internet in our room, I will do my best to share some pictures and stories during the event.

Again, sorry for the lack of posts lately. I'd wish things would be different...

Thanks for your interest!

It's been a long, long time...

Heya folks,

I know it's been a while. There are many reasons, which I am not going to share with all of you here online (if you know me and are interested, you know how to reach me). But (again) people pointed out that my blog had not been updated in ages. So here I am again and thinking about what to share today. I would like to apologize for stupid writing mistakes which may be in this text. My cellphone does not spellcheck and at times, it also misses letters that I have typed. Sometimes I catch the missing ones and other times...not. And seeing (unfortunately) English is not my main language, I will use some "easier" words more often since I can't always come up with the better, more suiting words. I hope you don't mind... Thanks!

A thing I have been thinking about a lot lately is jealousy. Everyone has some of it in them, for many and no reasons at all. And I have been thinking about me, myself and I. If I think I am jealous and if so, in what context am I jealous and how did I come to be jealous. And what goes on inside of me when I have these feelings. Jealousy makes me feel diferent emotions at the time I am experiencing it. It depends on the situation and people involved. But most of the time I feel anger and betrayal. Have I always been jealous or did something (or things) improve those feelings, these emotions?

My jealousy comes from my uncertainty. And that comes from my trouble in trusting people. And that all starts in my childhood, since I was used one time too many, or two. Now it really takes me a lot of time till I really know someone and when I feel more at ease with him/her, then I can work on trust and a deeper friendship. A friendship in which I can share my personal feelings and thoughts without having to worry that this will fall in the hands of "wrong" people. That is, people I don't know (or even don't want/need to know) or know too well. People who will judge on hearsay instead of the real "story" behind it all.

So, this all "said", I can easily say I have just a few friends who I really trust with all I am. I have many friends who do know me, but not all of me. And these friends I treasure because they are not easy to find and when you have such friends, you need to guard them with your life.
I know my "secrets" are safe with them and they won't judge me on small stuff but on the whole package.

And then there are the good friends which became even closer friends: my lovers. I know that in the heat of the moment, things can be said which are too harsh and aweful. But those things can be patched up, if both sides are willing to. But the stuff I experience with them, sexual or simple stuff that happens at home, I want to be private. As it happens in a private enviroment. Yes, my best friends will know stuff that had happened when I need to let it all out. But the ones I share it with all know my loved ones and won't use it against them (or me). The ones I share it with respect me and my lovers and know us.
I was wondering if it was silly of me to ask of them to keep our private stuff just as it is: private. And if they needed to unwind, I gave them some names of friends who I felt "safe" with.
But it all seems too hard, too difficult or too silly...

Ah well, this is all I am willing to share to give some insight into the whole jealousy thing.

I've never been too jealous till I got fooled by someone I love(d). I found out got lied to, and I found out what the real story was. It hurt. Cut deep. Tearjerker and all. Still can feel sh*t about it at times. And I guess that's my trigger for my jealousy. And it also gave a huge dent into the faith I had in the honesty of people, especially people who stand close to you.

So if I am lied to and I find out about it, I get angry and my jealousy will stick it's little head up once again. Since I want to know why I was being lied to. What made that person think I would be happier with lies instead of the truth? Why did that person think I wasn't "truth material"? And all these questions make me insecure about myself, about the relationships I have and about the person who lied to me.

I am really looking for people who'd like to discuss this all with me, here (for those who juust stumbled on this blogpost) or by e-mail (for those who know me). Since I'd like to know how others deal with stuff like this. How others would react in the same situation? What are your views on this?

Well, I am doing quite OK I just feel a it down every now and then due to "issues" like this.
Thanks for your time and maybe also thanks for your comments =)

Take care everyone, cherish the friends and people you love and care about!

I believe…

You all know I am active on Facebook. Several great writers and actors as well as many good friends are on there too. Anne Rice, a very famous writer, is busy on research for her new books. Her old books dealt with vampires, the new ones deal with belief and religion. And she uses the internet a lot to check out people’s views on things. One of her questions got me thinking (ow ow Anne, what did you do???).

The following is what I know, how I experienced it. I haven’t done any research before writing this blog. I did put a lot of links in it to files at www.wikipedia.org. So if anyone wishes to know more about a topic, just click on the link.
I don’t mean anyone any harm! I know that religion can be a delicate thing for people and it is not my intention to look down on any religion. Everyone is in my opinion free to believe in what makes them happy. As long as no one pushes his/her religion to others. In many religions, as far as I know, is one of the main “rules” to harm no other living being. That’s what I believe in: believe what you wish but harm no one with it.

I have been raised as a Christian. I’ve been baptized, did the first communion and went to a Christian school. But after a while, more religious views were coming to the Netherlands. Of course, in the 70’s already many people from Turkey came to live in the Netherlands. And later on, many people from Morocco immigrated to the Netherlands. All the people that came to live in our country took their own religions with them. In the Netherlands, the main religions were Roman Catholicism and Protestantism. There were also people who survived World War 2 and stayed in the Netherlands after we were freed from the Nazi’s. These people were Jewish. So that was yet another religious believe that people in the Netherlands had. So the Catholics,Protestants and Jews followed the Bible in their own way, the Muslims followed the Qur’an.

As long as there has been religion, there have been religious wars. And that is one of the things I dislike about it. I know the Bible has a Golden Rule which works in two ways. It exists in both positive (generally structured in the form of "do to others what you would like to be done to you") and negative form (structured in the form of "do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you"). While similar, these forms are not strictly the same; they differ in what to do with what you would like to be done to you and the other party would not like to be done upon it. The negative form, known as the Silver Rule does directly not contain this while the positive form can exclude it indirectly with that you would like from others to check if you really like it, which is an example of using the golden rule in a context which makes it self-correcting, as argued in the criticisms section. This Golden Rule is also seen in other religions, though under another name and said with other words. In the Jewish Talmud this can be found: “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.” This is a quote from Hillel. These are just some things I have found using the wikipedia site. Of course, if you believe in a religion, I guess you already know how the “Golden Rule” implies to your religion and faith.

And in my opinion everyone is entitled to their believe, faith and religion. But WHY do people still have to fight? There have been reports on-line and in newspapers and you can also hear it when you talk with friends: many times a fight/war is based on religion. But why can’t people see Jesus and Allah as one and the same person. When you read the Bible or the Qur’an, it comes down to people believing in one “leader” of their faith and their followers. I have no problems with people who believe in any of the believes and follow their “rules”. But how come that people sometimes claim their wrong behavior, often dealing with pain or even death inflicting incidents, to their faith? Since their faith tells them that they are not allowed to hurt themselves nor others… If people think they should fight for their believe, I don’t think the best way is to fight with their hands and weapons. Since the faith doesn’t allow any violence… Or did I misunderstand it?

I believe there must be someone or something that makes the world go round. But I don’t really believe in giving him/her/it a name. I hope that others will let me live my life as I am with my belief and I will let others live with their own chosen religion. Don’t try to force any religion on me and I won’t interfere with theirs. Seems like a simple but good plan, right?

Let me know what you think. And again, no offence to any religion at all! If your religion/belief makes you happy, I am happy for you!

Well, that’s it for now folks!

TV series… Follow up!

I have been working a lot on the new “TV series to DVD” board!

BUT I am still looking for people who’d like to join me. I alone can’t make it work, I need your help!

Posting about series that have been aired on TV, maybe they are on DVD or maybe you are still waiting for them to get released.

Share information about the shows you loved!

Get a chance to “get in touch” with (older) shows you might have missed…

Come to TV series to DVD and sign up!

Hope to see you soon!